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Thursday, April 05, 2007

World Shattering Drama... well for me!

Nothing like a world shattering drama to send me back to the warm comforting arms of my blog. Not that I expect much sympathy from the neglected few readers, but I need to rant and rave to someone.

After 4 and a bit years in this wonderful, awesome, fantastic unit, I finally have to move. The owner has sold his house and will be moving back in about 1st of June. I found out quite a few hours into a alcohol-infused work lunch (turned all afternoon drinking session), and the day before the long Easter weekend (when no doubt all real estate agents will be closed). I rang the owner and cried on the phone to him. I told him about my upcoming 2 weeks in Thailand (13-27 May) and he was nice enough to say that if we found a new place by 13 May we can move out then, and not have to wait or pay rent til 1st of June. So at least that's good.
The countdown has begun. 5 weeks to find a new place. Of course I don't know who wants to even live with me. Will it be my cousin and I? just the 2 of us? or will Dan and his friend, Lisa who have been living downstairs (and who Cindy and I rarely see) want to keep living with us, but in a much more in-your-face kind of way? Chances are we aren't going to find a place like this- where Cindy and I lived upstairs (2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, kitchen, lounge room) and Dan and Lisa lived downstairs (2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, kitchen, lounge, patio) but we shared bills and whatnot.
This place has served me well. Rent is ridiculously cheap, we have been paying tuppence compared to what most people pay to live in New Farm/Fortitude Valley.

I love this place with all my heart. All the negative memories of previous housemates have faded away and this place is finally becoming a place to be proud of. I have nice furniture, I just recently rearranged my bedroom and have suddenly increased my living space.

I can walk to work in 15 minutes, and walk home from work/gym in 15 mins. I am 10 mins from a very central train station which goes everywhere. The bus (which is very frequent) has a stop a mere 100 metres from my front door. I have a pub and bottle shop right across the road. A supermarket less than 10 mins walk away. I have every kind of delicious style of restaurant within 500 metres. Thai, Himalayian, Turkish, Italian, Indian, Pizza, Cafes, pubs and more!

We have air conditioning, which also acts as a heater. By merely shutting the bedroom and bathroom doors, we can sit in blissful cool or warm air within minutes. The Brisbane river is only a block away and down there we have gorgeous views of the river and the bridge and the city. The floating river walk is fantastic to go for walks/jogs along. We're only 1 zone from the city so public transports (when i can bothered to take it and not walk) is so cheap.

I love this place so much, I don't want to move. I've been crying my eyes out all night, it feels like a part of me is dying. I love this place and I don't want to change. I hate change. This unit feels like home. I don't want to move anywhere new, and have to catch public transport all the time. I want to be able to walk home, I want to be able to walk to work, I want to have great shops just down the road from me, even though I never go to them.

I sent the boy home because I knew I was going to be bad compared. Walked home crying and bought a tallie of cider from my local bottle shop. After this blog I will probably start looking up rental properties while crying into my drink. I dont even know what sort of property to look for. 2 bedroom, 4 bedroom? I looked up some before and there are some nice 4 bedroom houses in suburbs not that far from the city. but they are still in suburbs, I WANT TO LIVE INNER CITY!!!!! I just can' t bloody afford it. No one can fur fox ache! These suburbs are so ridiculously expensive. I'm going to be a suburbanite, and I might have to get a car! ARGH!!!!!!!!

this is the worst thing to happen to me for such a long time. I don't want to move. it's going to cost me hundreds of dollars to hire removalists to move all my stuff. And I don't even know if I can get my dining room table out, since it was hoisted over the low end of the balcony when we moved in... the low end of the balcony that has since been ripped up and enclosed to make the internal staircase going downstairs, so who knows how they will get this table out.
And there are so many dints and crap in the walls. Come on!!! 4 years worth of wear and tear. I've taken pretty good care of this place but unfortunately there were a couple of years of drunken deviant behaviour in this place, that I wish I could erase and undo and forget all about. But dints and chips in walls and paint do not lie. I cannot escape my past, no matter how much I try. And for that reason I'm scared I'm going to lose my bond. Even though I paid out everyone in full who previously lived here in the past when they moved out, I will cop the financial burden if we lose some bond because of damage. Its natural wear and tear but I guess it depends how the real estate sees it.

BLARGH I feel so ill thinking about this. i wish I lost my appetite when stressed but I just wolfed down a left over burrito before... I've had a whole afternoon of drinking so I was staaaarving. Damn you stress, if you're going to make me cry and feel ill, the least you could do is take away my appetite.

I also used my emotional vulnerability this evening to finally confront someone and voice my many many opinions and thoughts which have been bubbling up inside me for months and months. It felt so good and whether or not we make the effort to rebuild, I feel so cleansed and finally free of the frustration of all the unspoken tensions. An emotional colonic, seriously! Its good for the soul. And if life takes us in different directions at least I finally had the courage to admit the way I felt, how much I didn't want this to happen, and that's enough for me.

Fuck. Moving. Argh.

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