::ARCHIVES::

29.09.04 | mobLOG

GET YOUR OWN LITTLE PIECE OF LIVIAN RIGHT HERE! yes you, you dirty perv!

smirnoff black. my kryponite. when will i learn that i cannot drink more than one of these without hurting myself. i called in sick at work today and feel soooo bad, so fucking lazy. so fucking stupid. i KNEW going out was a bad idea, especially coz the boys were on so late. but i have been a slack girlfriend and haven't been to a gig in AGES and sir rich was here from interstate, and argh! even my sister, nony came out (altho she left at 11pm, unfortunately not with me in tow). but despite the nasty results of last nite, that were still floating in the toilet this morning, it was a great time. a great collectioin of people who dont get together often enough, finally all smooshed together in the little booths and tables, having waaaay too much fun thanks to mr smirnoff.

anyway, thanks to heather, our resident photographer, we have a collection of lovely photos. if you want to check them out, click on the piccy below. please note the special appearance of "THE KONG", who has been on hiatus was hiding out at trav's house. (ps the kong is the big green dildo that has been featured many times on muntedmess cam... NO, not like that!)

and i just have to put this pic up too of me grabbing the kong, coz my back looks HAWT! (been going to the gym 2-3 times a week and been doing some upper body weights and i think its slowly paying off, so yay me!) tho my hair is leaving something to be desired... in need of a hair cut and recolour badly.

ps- a big apology to david for not making it to work for tort thursday! i rang at 7.50am to tell work, but i hear the email didn't go around for a while. SORRY dont hate the alcoholic!

pps- i FINALLY got a muntedmess.com email addy. livian (at) muntedmess.com. SEND ME YOUR PENIS PICS (jk), or just drop me a line and say hi.

29.09.04 | mobLOG

i'm selling more clothes on ebay. only a few things up now, but more to come. check out my ebay auctions.

so the hollardores are coming out of hiatus and are playing a gig tonight. prolly should of said something earlier if i wanted more people to come. oops. anyway its a wednesday so i can't stay out long, and they are playing kind of late, so hopefully i wont be too sick tomorrow for work. thank god its tort thursday tomorrow. breakfast torts, mmmm bacon, egg, cheese and tomatoe in a tortilla. its a thursday ritual at work.

anyway, sir rich is here, and drinking is happening and i shouldn't be so anti social. so yea, talk to you y'all later.

24.09.04 | mobLOG

like i said, its morning and i'm all good. crisis over. back to a job i do enjoy and worrying about the little things like, 'what am i going to drink tonight? what shoudl i do? who will i go out with this weekend? when will i fit in time to clean my place?"
but i just wanted to respond to some of the comments left in the 12 hours since i wrote that entry (man, i haven't had that many comments in that short a time in ages. maybe everyone is suffering from chii withdrawals so badly, that they are coming back here even if it is a poor substitute)
firstly, no one has to get bent :P

susan, hi! "And Burke from Gerling could not play a single fucking instrument when he joined Gerling, all he could do was robot dance, he just stalked them until they gave in and let him join anyway."
haha yea i had heard that about burke, how awesome is that- just stalking them til they let him join. man, i must find an up and coming band and start stalking them. i always wanted to bug axel from team plastique to let me join. he can distort my voice enough so no one will know i can't sing and i can wear kerazy outfits and wigs all the time and have a reason to. 'yea, i look like a tool, but i'm in a band, so nerrrrrr"

everyone else with your motivational and supportive comments. thanks! i feel like i'm part of this generation that DOESN'T have to be married by 20, house by 22 and kids by 23. i can travel, and work in McJob's while partying hard, for as long as i like, til my 30's and then its never to late to settle down with a 'career' and start a family. that's all good and well. but its like, with all this freedom, i feel like i'm swinging back and forth between all the things i want, all the thing i COULD do, never being able to settle on anything. and what it means is that i'm never actually doing ANYTHING. i feel like i have too many options, and i want to keep every option open. sometimes i almost wish things were simpler. rules and regulations- as a woman, THIS is what you have to do.
of course i dont mean that, and i know i would hate living within such conformities. but yea, wouldn't life be simpler that way?

23.09.04 | mobLOG

i want to cry. i read today in the city news magazine that channel v were auditioning for new VJ's. and i wouldn't tell anyone this, but i would love to do something like that. i honestly would. could it be my way out? my way to fame? who knows... anyway nony and i were talking about it and coming up with great ideas, and i was all psyched for it. and then i got online and realized that it closed yesterady. and now i want to cry. why do i miss out on all of these kind of things? whether it be laziness or bad fucking timing, i always seem to miss out. but i know that i could stand a fucking chance, if only i got my shit together i honestly think i could go somewhere... if only given a fucking chance. if only someone would realize my fucking potential, i know i could suceed. fuck! fuck the world, fuck my bad ass timing. and fuck the fact that i just ran out of wine. aksdflkasdf fuck the world.]

i am never going to get anywhere with the things i truly want to do. its so fucked. i will forever be doing mediocre fucking work. sure, i love my job, but its not what i truly want to do. i just slaved away at uni for 3 fucking years, coz it made sense to people. webdesign equals more jobs than fucking acting or whatever bullshit job i really want to do. its so depressing that i settle for shit that sure, i like it. but do i love it? no. i will settle for second best because why? because i'm scared i'll fail, because i'm scared i wont suceed, because i am scared that i'm really fucking crap when its the only thing i've ever excelled it. fuck it i'm crying just even thinking/talking/.typing about this. i wish i could talk tosomeone about this, but its just plain embarassing because no one knows what i really want from life, fuck i dont even. maybe i am just fooling myself. yea fuck it , i'm just fooling myself. gotta sleep coz i've got a great job to go to tomorrrrow. night y'all, and ps, i'm going to regret this post in the morning and do what i always do, which is just ignore it and forget that i even posted it, so go ahead, comment away, but if i know you in real life, dont bother trying to talk to me about it, coz i'll be over it in the morning and be back to the happy rhi you all know and love and everything will be great. i've got good coping mechanisms like that. this is just a weakness, a momentary weakness and tomorrow i'll be good as gold and you dont need to bring it up.

18.09.04 | mobLOG

man i'm so fucked. work shouted everyone lunch at Omalleys (irish pub), and the bar tab stayed open til 6.30pm when the ceo left. 6.5 hours of drinking, phew! i was getting pretty fucking trashed by that point, and having some great convo's with fellow work buddies, tho i'm sure they think i'm kooky or strange or just plain stupid. some of the things said, were really not things i should telling workmates, dont i know about workplace gossip? it was an awesome day, afternoon, evening. i am so in love with this job and the company its not funny. i never want to leave- after this place, no job will ever compare. i mean we barely worked half a day today, it was awesome. i dont expect that to happen all the time, by any means, but fuck, it happened once and that's soooo motherfucking rad. anyway, before i got insanely sick, i went over to elle's and hung out there, and then came back to the valley about 1.30am and caught up with oystein, wwho had snagged this hot barrister from sydney. we all sat around and chatted until they couldn't keep their lips off each other and i made my silent departure. last thing i heard, he was going back to the sheraton with him. GO OYSTEIN!!! woot.
anyway i've been having the best fucked up chats with rhi. i haven't had this kind of great msn chat in so long. she's been sending me crazy pix from her mobile phone all morning hehehe, and she's set up a moblog too. good for her. its fucking 5.30am and its getting light outside, its sooo wrong. i forgot that rhi is 2 hours behind me in perth. her night is still happening, it might not be over, but sadly mine is, and i really should get to bed. yay for the crap update.

09.09.04 | mobLOG

i have a confession to make. i'm a closet john farnham fan.
i dont know, its just so familiar- his music reminds me of my childhood, camping and only listening to the abc radio station, dancing in my cousins lounge room when we were kids.
tickets go on sale TODAY for the john farnham/tom jones concert next february! and i really want to go. but i'm sure everyone i know will just laugh at me when i ask if they want to come too. but tom jones rocks! and johnnie boy is great and i dont know... i just want to see them perform live.
feel free to ridicule away in the comments.

06.09.04 | mobLOG

back from sydney. photos are up in the photo gallery if you want to check them out.

i had the best time with caitlin, was so good to see her again. she might be coming here next year to do a year & a half of study, which would be awesome because i will hopefully be ready to move to canada by the time she finishes. anyway, a big thanks to davo for playing tour guide and hanging out with us all weekend, taking us to lunch, buying us drinks, showing us around bondi etc.

we ate so much good food, drank heaps of wine and beer, shopped at the glebe and bondi markets, wandered around town, checked out heaps of bars and pubs over the weekend, and met and hung out with some awesome people. and i won a transvestite garden gnome in a limbo competition at the Palms. and Eena, one of the performers thru out the night, was so hilarious and i just have to quote her. in the middle of some songs- "have a said too much? have i said too much? have i? well how about i just twirl around and love myself" hahah and then they would all start twirling and loving themselves in a way only glammed up drag queens can. hahah she said she felt so good after a good twirling session. and the cute drummer boy- shirtless, muscley, with a cheap blond wig on- HAHAHHA it was hilarious. he kept staring and smiling at us (being that we were practically the only real girls in the club). on the way out of the bathroom, i ran into him and he told me "i think you're really sexy when you dance". heheh i just giggled and wished i lived in sydney so i could be his fag hag. he was soooo adorable, with an almost macaulay culkin-ness (shuddup! good old mac was one of my first celebrity crushes. oh, wait, my first was corey feldman, and mac was my second). unfortunately it was getting really late, and caitlin's throat was geting really sore to the point where she couldn't talk and we had an early flight to catch, so we had to go home after middnight and i didn't get to talk to the cute little drummer boy *sniff*

monday came around way too quickly, and after saying good bye to caitlin, i cried my way over to the domestic terminal and flew home. *sniff* a holiday is so great, but coming home is always so depressing. i want to party and live in 'holiday mode' for ever! and now i'm home, and knee deep in dirty clothes and bags half unpacked, and i'm sooo hungry and all i want is thai food from "The Best Thai" in Darlinghurst- it was seriously the best thai i've eaten since thailand, and was so cheap. the 2 thai places near me suck so badly by comparison. i was going to be all motivated and gym this afternoon (been going regularly for the past two weeks and have been feeling great because of it) however, i'm feeling emotionally drained after the weekend and i think i need to drown my sorrows with some red wine! (or maybe i'm just not ready to admit by mini-holiday is over and will drink in the middle of the day because... well... fuck it, i can). i really hope caitlin does plan to come over here next year, because she is just so wonderful and lovely and i click with her so well and it would really break my heart if i couldn't see her again for another 2 or more years. if she does move down, i would love to move to sydney and live with her, but i know it would cost ALOT of money to relocate to sydney, find a new job, live a much more expensive life there, especially when i'm wanting to then go to canada mid 2006.

*le sigh*

01.09.04 | mobLOG

sydney trip!

gah! its september! when the fuck did that happen? where have i been? work has all but consumed by life, it would seem... (that damn alcohol fridge is just too good, i haven't been able to leave work at all! adlfjasdjf..jk)

but seriously, i never thought i'd get to this point, but i just have no time or energy left to devote to my site, to blogging. i'm working on websites all the time at work, then i'm usually off to the gym straight after, and by the time i get home and eat something its well after 8pm and i'm ready to just shower, flop on the couch and then jump into bed. not that i'm complaining. life is good peoples! i guess thats the biggest reason i have no need for a blog anymore- i have NO angst, nothing to complain about, am pretty darn happy with life, am not depressed/angry/sad/suicidal...
i dont know how else to put it. sure, things get on my nerves or get me down, but i tend to just vent to my friends and that's all i need.
i'll probably eat my own words in a few weeks (coz that's just how things like this work),but i'm not even sure what to say on here anymore. there's still the problem of people i know reading my site (hi to practically everyone at work *sigh*. and i didn't even TELL most people, they're just like 'oh yea i read your site'. grrrrrr), but i haven't had time to write anything in my Live Journal in ages either.
i dont know if i want my blog to become a "today i did this, today i did that" kinda thing, altho it already practically is.

anyway, this weekend i'm going to sydney again- it was a pretty last minute decision. i heard from caitlin only last week and decided i just had to meet up with her, so BAM! i bought my tickets and got the time off work and yipeee, sydney here i come!
caitlin is a canadian girl i met in thailand (2001-2002), we travelled around together for about 2 months. we kinda kept in touch since, and then out of the blue she emails me to say she's here in australia for 2 weeks for a work-related conference.

i'm flying down on friday, and we're staying at her friends place in darlinghurst (right near the city). tentative plans so far include:
* the Glebe markets on saturday.
* going to this Korean bath-house (caitlin went last week, and said it was awesome! i'm up for anything!)
* meeting up with Davo for friday arvo drinks.
* meeting Dean on friday night- probably going to a bar/pub, coz im in the mood for some live music etc, rather than a hard-core dance club (we'll leave that for saturday!). Perhaps Spectrum on Oxford street (recommended to me by Laura and well, i trust her taste in live music *damn cool talented musicians, where's my talent huh?*)
* catching up with my aunty and cousin mimi (who's 2 now!!! OMG!).
* and of course we're hanging out with asa (hopefully) all weekend!!!!
anyway i'm heaps excited and will post afterwards i'm sure, at least i'll have something to talk about. heh

20.08.04 | mobLOG

bus driver man

Sexy latino bus driver.
You smiled shyly at me as i stepped into your bus. Your deep brown eyes looked right through me. I sat a few seats behind you, trying to catch your eye in the rear view mirror. At the lights, you'd look up and catch me looking back at you, and i'd smile softly and look away. Driving through the city, nearly approaching my stop, I anxiously wanted to say something to you. A car pulled out in front. You slammed on the brakes and slammed you hand on the horn and started mutterly obscenities under your breath.
I left the bus without another glance your way.
Road rage is so not a turn on.

18.08.04 | mobLOG

take me drunk, i'm home

reason #14567 why i like this job better than my old job

*jaw drops*.... RIGHT! well the smirnoff black on the bottom shelf is what i'll be going for first, but aint' it great that i drink beer as well! hehehe
jealous?

17.08.04 | mobLOG

playing grown ups

ripped straight from my livejournal
second day on the job, and it fucking rules! this is the coolest work place EVER! firstly, we're on the 10th floor and i have sweet views from my desk.

that pic so doesn't show it off. i'll bring my digi cam in one day and get a better photo.

then there's the staff- everyone is soo nice and friendly. and there's more than one other female which is bloody nice. the kitchen/lounge area (yes that's right... LOUNGE area) is amazing. they have every bloody appliance you could ever need to make any sort of dish- rice cooker, toaster, 2 microwaves, oven, sandwich press, cappachino maker, and George Foreman's Lean, Mean, Fat-reducing, Grilling machine.
There's also 2 huge fridges, one devoted to alcohol for friday afternoons, a pool table, a tv, couches and a play station. Not that its had much usuage that i've seen, as most of the guys are playing Battlefield on their computer during lunch.

Lunch- everyone is whipping up a storm. i thought i'd end up spending shitloads of money getting takeaway/ food court food for lunch. NO WAY. Olivia (other new girl) and I went and bought a heap of stuff to make big fat yummy toasted sandwiches for the rest of the week.

There's also a fish tank! I've so wanted to work in an office with a fish tank!

And what about the actual job? well its great! yesterday was mostly just going over everything they are hoping all of us will be achieving, and how it fits into the company and explaining exactly how the company works/operates. today we're already getting started on our first few sites.

anyway, will explain more later.just wanted to share the greatness which is my new work place.

12.08.04 | mobLOG

becoz 1 blog is just not enough

i have dusted off the cobwebs of my barely used livejournal and have started venting bi-weekly or so. mind you, its only been one week so its very likely i will lose interest and stop undating. who knows, who cares, but if you want to read it then you can. its friends only, so you have to have a live journal account, but by all means add me to your friends list and if you're a complete stranger/live on the other side of the world/ are not part of my everyday "real" life, then i'll probably give you access. no offense to anyone i know in real life, but if i wanted you to read my bitching (probably about you) then i would have written it here :D heh.
my nose is running, my body is aching, i think i'm getting sick again which is just so not fair. probably going out too much. so i decide not to go out yesterday, since i had gone out tuesday nite (i dont konw, in my mind, that made sense. go out the night BEFORE the public holiday to give yourself the day to recover. i guess i'm just stupid like that), and of course i end up missing out on what sounded like heaps of fun. typical. fuck it all, i'm just going to go back to hibernating every weekend, and save my money to spend on better things than alcohol. ......
who am i kidding :( *hmph*

i did however have a nice day with nony, shopping, subway, shopping! i ended up spending $250 on clothes which is something i haven't done in AGES! but its all stuff i kinda need, nice work clothes. more grown up then my current wardrobe. but yea, it was money well spent, i ended up with 4 bags chock-a-block FULL of clothes. i am the bargin hunting queen!!!!!!
of course this morning i just had to wear a new outfit, except both pants need to be taken up coz i'm too short for them. bsdfsdkfhs! i wanted to wear them over the weekend (yes i lied before, i have plans for the weekend which involve drugs(cigarettes!), drinks and dancing. and of course no sleep!)

second last day at this crap ass job and i can't fucking wait! i kinda wish i had said i'd start the new job the week after, coz i would just kill for a weeks holiday- sleep ins, late nites oh yea baby! i'm getting turned on just thinking about that! man, i miss the uni students days, but i dont miss the lack of money! i guess thats the trade off, and you can't have it both ways.

10.08.04 | mobLOG

A doodle. I do doodle. You, too. You do doodle, too

in response to chii's latest blog, was going to comment but it started getting too long winded so i thought, why not turn it into a shitty little post.
i didn't think i would be saying this so soon after the alcohol filled weekend just had. i was feeling so gross sunday/monday, but HELLO, roll around tuesday and i'm craving pots of beer in a smokey, old man filled, jukebox playing type of pub.
beer and cigarettes! it can't get much better than that. seriously i've found my new friday nite hang out- the UNDERGROUND! the club/bar/pub formally known as the R-Bar, and known before that as Rosies. til 7.30pm there's $2 pots of basic beer, $4 premium beers/barcardi breezers/sky vodka's, plus it so wasn't busy so we scored a couple of super duper comfy couches. then we ended up at Level 5- which is an r'n'b club, so not my kinda of scene. but it was hell fun coz secretly i want to be a black chick with my booty shakin' and hoochie style dancing! and 2-4-1 basic spirts! and they consider bacardi a basic spirit! HAHHAHAHAH so rach! you and me! r'n'b! dance skanky! get drunky! oh yea whee! he he he!

28.07.04 | mobLOG

A doodle. I do doodle. You, too. You do doodle, too

immma just a wasting time. i'm sure thats a country song lyric, coz that's how i'm singing it in my head.... justa wastin ma time! killing time while at work, counting down from 730. well actually just counting down from 14. thats' right! i gave my 2 weeks notice last week and next friday is my last day here. and its also friday 13th! hahahaahah could it be an omen? oooh hopefully its not bad luck for me, just for the company. hahaha actually there is alot of unhappiness and discontent here and i heard a rumour that the 18 year old phone girl is proabbly going to leave, sposedly working too long hours for too little money. amen to that sista!
also the printer, the man who holds this whole company together has probably sold his house (the ink will be dry by next week so time) and he's been planning for months a big year long holiday when he sells his house. this place is screwed if he leaves as there is NO ONE else here who can do his job. hahah anyway, less bitching. will save that for my recently dusted off live journal (one post in the last couple of weeks, oh i'm on a roll now baby!)

anyway the new job is awesome from what i know. its webdesign which what i want to be doing. the office is right in the city and its so cooool. but yea, i can't say too much, coz i dont know much yet! except that's its going to be waaaay sweeter, not to mention the pay is.... WOAH! blow me away. especially after the crap wage i was getting at this shit place.

in other news, i'm a complete interweb retard. the new tegan & sara albumn has been released on the web more than a month before its actual release date. some people had advanced copies and put them up on the web. which really kinda sucks, i mean you've slaved away for months and months on an albumn (i'm imagining all of this, since, well, its notlike i would REALLY know, but i'm off topic), and you must be so looking forward to its release date!!!! and then someone goes and blows the whole build up and spoils it all. anyway, when i first read that it was on the net, i searched high and low, downloading a billion kinds of shareware programs, and NADA! DIDDLY-fucking-SQUAT! everyone and their fucking mothers can find it, except me! adfjadsfjsadj i was tearing my hair out. i am so dying to hear their new albumn its not funny. i pride myself in being such a geek, and i can't even find and download 14 bloody songs *hmph*
anyway, a few days have passed and after reading a pretty pissed off diary entry on the offical site, i have decided i might as well wait. its only a month (or so- SEPT 13th). i mean, i always spoil stuff for myself- all my life i used to find birthday/xmas presents and would open them weeks before time. slicing the tape and then replacing it perfectly- no one ever knew. i get people to tell me how movies end all the time and i ALWAYS flip to the end of a book when i'm still at the start. but for once (and not just because i'm just too stupid to find the darn songs, tho i am and MAN its pissing me off), i'm going to hold off and leave it as a surpise. *grumble*. does anyone really like surprises? i mean, honestly? when everyone else knows something and you're DYING to know it as well- do you wait, do you enjoy the waiting? or do you beg and plead to know ahead of time, ruining the surprise of it? i got drunk and showed steve his 21st bday presents a few weeks ahead of time a couple of years ago. i know, i suck badly.
5pm! i'm outtta here suckers!!!!!

28.07.04 | mobLOG

HOW DO YOU DO, MR NEW TATTOO?

wtf, its 1.45pm. i finished my lunch almost an hour ago. suddenly, CRAMPS! i need to poop.... now this is fine, this is normal, everyone must poo. but you dont understand! i dropped the kids off this morning! and it wasn't a little drop off either- i emptied, what i thought was, the whole load. yet a mere 6.5hours later- MORE! kjasdakdsfh and if you dont konw already, i have a phobia about doing #2 in public, which includes work. what the crap (hahaha) is with my body? do i have some sort of super strength digestion system or something? i mean i'm not saying these urges are from lunch, but i guess lunch is digesting and pushing everything else down. so this must be breakfast, or last night's dinner. how fast does the human body digest food? how long is it from eating to pooping? i thought once a day was normal/regular? so what is 2 or 3 times a day? hyper-regular? ahhh sheila where are you with your turd log!!! i need to read about someone else's toilet behaviour to reassure myself that I AM regular!
i've told alot of people who know me in real life, when i was in thailand the second time (2001-2002), i was the pooping machine. my cousin who had come over from japan was constipated for most of the two weeks she was there, and was so pissed off when i would come skipping out of the bathroom to announce i had pooped yet again for the day! my digestion was working over time- i would eat 3 HUGE meals a day, plus snacks all the time, and i pretty much had to go 3 times a day. it was great- i fully lost weight (unlike the first time i was in thailand). thai food and me are best friends! we met these british girls and hang out with them a couple of days, and of course we got onto the topic of toilets, and one of the girls said she would only go once a week! i was like *gasp*! i would feel sooo bloated if i only went once a week. that's gotta be unhealthy, right?

onto other things, i want to get another tattoo. so does nony and rachel. we were all psyched to get it last weekend, but then i chickened out coz i was feeling hungover and gross, plus i hadn't decided on something yet. i would love to hear suggestions. i want it either on the back on my neck (right up under my hair line), or on top of my shoulder- like right at the top of my arm, where it joins my shoulder- either top of my arm or on my shoulder. i'm stil not overly sure even what i want. i mean both my tats so far are just black symbols. i'm not a huge fan of coloured tattoo's, tho i have seen a few that i like. i kinda like tattoo's writen in other languages, but am not really sure what i would want it to say. i'm definately a big fan of symbols- i already have woman in kanji on my shoulder, and a sorta tribal looking symbol thingy on my lower back. i like simplish things i guess, stars, shapes, asian characters, swirls, designs. i quite like the ohm character/symbol- here, or here. but is that a bit cliched? i wouldn't mind something written in thai or another language made up of interesting characters/letters- but of course it would easier to get it done in thailand where the tattoo artist could write cursive thai script. if i get it done here in australia, i would have to find the words and find someone who can write thai well enough to be able to write it out all pretty like.
the girly side of me likes stars, butterflies, dragonflies (not all flowery and stuff, but if drawn interestingly enough, not too colourful, kinda bold strokes, it could be cool). the abstract side of me would like to get just a bunch of lines or stokes- just a squiggle or 4 horizontal lines on the back of my neck. and then there is always part of me that would love to get something cute- like a little astro boy heh, or a logo, but will i always like a tattoo like that? maybe not. that seems like something i would grow out of quickly. oh i dont konw!!!! argh, i'm a libran so i'm indecisive as hell. oooh and then there is always the possibility of getting something astrological- so a symbol for libra, but its quite a boring/ugly design compared to all the other ones.... thoughts?

27.07.04 | mobLOG

my server died for almost a week, but its back, nothing was lost- yay! however, i had all these urges to blog last week, and no where to blog. even signed into my dead live journal account- but then things got real busy at work and nothing came of that. i got billions of thoughts racing around my head, especially during work hours. its like half of brain switches into 'work mode' and i'm doing all the shit i have to, while the other half of my brain goes over and over and over all these thoughts and feelings. then i get home, usually crack open a bottle of red, and bye bye to thoughts, hello to warm comforting numbness.
i'm still sick and coughing up shit. i think its kinda turned into mild bronchitis- when i cough its all rattly in my chest and i can't quite get it up. so i double over, cough instead of breath, turn bright red and my eyes feel like they are going to pop. charming, i know. especially on a bus to work stuck between all these people wearing horrible nasty cheap perfumes. i know they are looking at me like 'ewwww stop coughing, dont infect me with your horrible germs'... i'm usually the one death staring the sick person in front of me, irrated at their constant sniffling and coughing, and blowing their nose. i can almost see the infected spit particles floating around in the air, ready to jump down my throat with my next breath. they try to cover their mouth, but then they just infect their hands, and i watch with disgust as they finally get up and put their grubby hands over every single seat back or pole as they make their way off the bus. i have to touch those poles you inconsiderate fuck! the bus driver from hell likes to slam on the breaks as he approaches my stop. so you leave me with two bloody choices- fall flat on my ass/face as the bus comes to a screeching halt, or hang on to the poles and put my hands right in your germ infected smear you've left behind.
anyway, i know there must be someone who feels the same way as me, and i can feel their eyes burning into my skull as i wheeze and try and supress my coughing, while shuddering and turning a nice shade of beetroot. once i'm at work the coughs kinda lessen, but who cares anyway, i'm sitting in my little corner, infecting only the air that i breathe.

19.07.04 | mobLOG

news is the 4th generation ipod is coming soon and the prices of the 40GB and 20GB ipods have dropped by $100 USD! wooohoooo! for once waiting may have gotten me somewhere. now if the price decrease will be reflected over here in oz then everything will be perfect. already i've noticed the last few 20gb ipods on ebay.com.au go for about $480 (instead of $520)....will it affect aussie ipod prices in stores/online stores? that's what i want to know!

the wedding was amazing and so much fun. rach has a bit of a post up about it. and here are some photos i put up on my cam yesterday.... photo recap!

the only bad thing is the drinking/smoking/cold weather has made me sick again. i can't stop coughing. my stomach muscles hurt, and muscles in my back even hurt from coughing so much. i am the mucus master, and i hurt all over. ergh an ipod would so make me feel better.

15.07.04 | mobLOG

work is extremely slow and boring today, so i updateth yet again.
hmmmm i like that "wooohoooowooohooo" song by... um the rasmus, or the rasmussens or something like that. it was just on the radio and i have to admit its very very catchy. ok so it doesn't really go woohoo, more like 'ooooohooooh'. meh nevermind. gah i wish work was busy and stressful coz at least the days fly by then. my skin is breaking out nicely just in time for heather's wedding. and i'm one of those people who can't keep their hands off their face- i pick, i squeeze, i scar myself. my mum hates it, and i know i shouldn't, but GOD, nothing beats the feeling when you conquer the pimple! "you tried to trick me into thinking you were blind! but NOOOOO i managed to get you out (and i've only scratched and squeezed so hard that i've left a behind a bruised and bloody pore)".. its such a gross habit when you think about it. i'm like a little monkey, who wants to pick your nits! heheh

on a less disgusting note, nony (sister) told me she is pretty sure she'll be living in brisbane for the next few years. she was threatening to go home to bundy and return to her bogan lifestyle, but honestly i dont think she should live with mum again anytime soon. mum needs to get on with her own life anyway, and i want nony to get more out of life than cars and tuff laps around the main street of bundy. also, she wants to continue studying (maybe into natural medicine) and you can't do that in bundy, nor is there much call for her line of work. she's better off here. anyway, what that means, is that IF i was to, oh say, go overseas, i wouldn't have to sell all my furniture.

seriously, i have been feeling really tied down lately. like, if i wanted to pack up and move somewhere- what the fuck would i do with all my shit? i mean, its great that i'm fully set up here- hell i'm even buying whitegoods and furniture. but it would feel like such a waste if i wanted to move and had to sell it all......
ANYWAY again, getting off track... so the revelation that briony will be here for some time yet, means i have someone to give all my stuff to- give it to her, get her to look after it etc. in case my travelling is only temporary. next step- saving my pennies! argh but the ipod factor- what to do, what to do? my greedy, 'brand-name whore' side of me says- "an ipod would be a necessary travel companion"......very true. hmmmmm, but still i need to save about $5000 (i think) before any jetsetting can take place (flights, visa shit, application fees for working visas, spending money for the *hopefully* short time before working). and yes, my heart is definately set on working where-ever i travel. maybe its because of my exchange to thailand, but i feel like i wouldn't get the most out of my travelling unless i was living there for AT LEAST 12 months. i want the FULLL experience- not content to just be a tourist, i want to settle in, work (to fund my time). if i was a millionaire, or had a sugar daddy, then MAYBE i would be content to just go overseas for 2-4 months and just travel around. but alas, such is not the case.
you know, i also wish i had a travel buddy. as much as this urge to move overseas (even if only 12months) is defiantely a cry for independance, coming from a need to start afresh, radically change my life and all that, i do wish i could have someone to share it all with. tho someone who would not crowd all my independancy needs. like tallace- my thailand 2001-02 travel buddy- she was really great. i was thinking about her the other day, wondering what she was up to, wishing she hadn't moved to melbourne, wishing i had made more of an effort to hang out with her and get to know sarima (her gf) more when they were living here. ahhh joni mithell, your lyrics are so right.

14.07.04 | mobLOG

to ipod or not to ipod..... i so badly want to be part of the grand ipod community, buy into the apple name and be one of the funky people! consumerism is my life!
retail price for a 20GB is $598 AUD. i have talked myself into this size ipod as it comes with all the features and accessories that the 40GB one does and its cheaper. sure it holds half as many songs, but i honestly dont know if i'll be able to find anywhere near 5000 songs to fill up the 20GB. anyway, i'm not a total consumer whore, i have my limits (financially) and i'm not greedy... i dont need the absolute greatest and latest.... so yea, the 20GB is just fine for me *nods*

i've watched a couple of brand new, sealed in box 20GB ipods go for $520 on ebay.com.au. With $25 p&h, its still 50 big ones less than buying it from target. so do i do it or not? i've spent most of the day looking up reviews on ipods- and have read quite a mix. bad reviews bring up some good points (by the sounds of it) but the good reviews....when they are good, they are really really good! so many people out there are extremely happy with their ipod purchase and i'm almost swayed. but i just quickly wanted to ask anyone who reads my site for their opinion- what do you think of the ipod? my mp3 player has become permanently hung around my neck, and 20GB capacity would blow my little 35 song rotation OUT of the water!

13.07.04 | mobLOG

Orange wool/cashmere jacket- $160
skirt- $50
sexy halter top- $50
knee high boots- $80
stockings- $10
standing beside my friend, looking sexy in a very unique but AWESOME bridesmaid outfit, on her very special day (only 4 days away!!!!)- PRICELESS!

i tried on the bridesmaids outfit (sans stockings) last nite when i got home from bundy and i got sooooo excited. i can't believe heather is getting married in only 4 days time! and i'm going to be so proud to be standing up there beside her when she marries her true love. *queue sappy violin music*

in other news, my cold from hell is finally passing, and now i'm just coughing up chunks. but its all good, i'll be 100% by saturday, i'm sure!

oh yea, and i'm not all blond, despite the cam photo! mum bought these wigs at the latest hair expo, and then decided she didn't want them afterall, so nony and i brought them home with us. they are sooo realistic, with a bit of regrowth and everything hahahh!

07.07.04 | mobLOG

today ringo starr is 64, and i still find him irresistably cute. not so much in a 'hawt' way... he's more like the grandad i wish i had. its also my high school crush's birthday today. my sister's birthday was on sunday (yes, she is in fact 'born on the 4th of july') and 4 of my cousins and one of my aunties are all born during the last week of july. the hen's party was last weekend, and the wedding is next weekend, and i still dont have a top or stockings or accessories for my outfit. i'm going home to bundaberg on the weekend, which means friday afternoon and monday off work, and its the busiest month since i've been here. steve's mum has been stayin with us for almost 2 weeks now, and sharing my bathroom. my skin is breaking out horribly just in time for the wedding, and now i'm getting sick. needless to say, july has been and is going to continue to be a stressful month, from which i would like to run away from, screaming and flailing my arms.

and to add to my sinking depression due to the hopelessness of my life this month, my favourite canadian twins are playing two acoustic gigs this month at various folk festivals..... but yes, they are in canada. i would love nothing more than to pack up my bags to fly my ass over there. firstly, because tns will be playing a mix of old and new stuff and boy, am i eager to here some more new stuff after hearing the title song off "So Jealous" (for Tegan and Sara's song, scroll 3/4 of the way down), but also my heart has been set on canada for some time now. i mean i'm still really wanting to visit/travel to/move to the states, but canada has been appealing more and more... well i guess its really been on my mind since 2001-2002 when i travelled around thailand with tallace, my cousin and catlin (this canadian girl we met over there).... however its depressing because i dont even have enough in my bank account for the flight over there, let alone spending money or anything saved up. i'm trying to save but its just not happening.

also, i wonder if i'm deluding myself about ever being able to LIVE there. i mean, i whinge and complain and can't stand winter here in brisbane... and we're considered a tropical climate!!!! i mean, i'm sure people dress warmer (unlike myself, my summer/winter wardrobe consists of the same clothes (definately the same jeans and pants) with just a jumper/cardigan/jacket on top), and i'm sure buildings and houses are better equiped- no draughts, and definately no queenslander style houses. but how do you survive walking to and from the bustop, or to work when its snowing and freezing cold? the past few weeks on the way to walk, my cheeks and nose gets so cold- i'm all rugged up with a warm jacket and scarf, and even gloves lately, but my face and ears get so cold. do everyone in canada end up with hat hair (beanie hair?) ALL the time in winter? how do you go out like that? and what do you wear out clubbing? do you still wear skimpy tops but layer on jackets upon jackets etc just for the walk to the club?

i guess i really want to see how life is in a colder country, how things are different... i mean, there must be so much i take for granted: being able to sit out on my balcony any month of the year and have a cigarette, sitting outside in a beer garden, being able to go for exercise walks during winter, having sunlight til almost 5.30pm in the middle of winter, waking up at 6.30am and the sun is already rising. then again, i dont think i will survive too many more of our summers with a full head of hair- one day i will crack and will shave it.

05.07.04 | mobLOG

again i find myself marvelling at how truly retarded some people are. for the purpose of this rant i am going to possibly give away too many hints as to my last name, which is surely inviting stalkers galore, but i guess i like to live on the edge.rawr

i have to send customers artwork approval forms all the time- i do this by two methods; email or fax. Now at the bottom of my email is my 'signature'; you know, my name, a wanky title for my job *coz "Shitkicker" just doesn't impress anyone*, the company name, address, details, and we even have a little groovy image of our logo. its all very swanky. I also sign the cover letter of all faxes with an abbreviated version of this signature: just my name, and title. (its actually not that wanky- just "Graphic Designer"- that's also what's on my business cards).

anyway, in most english speaking countries, like here in australia, we sign our name FIRST name, and then LAST name, and NOT the other way around. i know alot of asian countries sometimes have mixed up first and last names, like their first name is actually their family name or something like that. however, we're not an asian country. Rhiannon is NOT an asian sounding name by any means, and my last name is very NON-asian. its very obviously scottish heritage. My last name also happens to be a name quite often used for a first name, sure, i understand that. However its also used for a last name ALOT. and RHiannon doesn't really seem like a last name, now does it?

Also when i send an email, my name comes up "Rhiannon Lastname".... first name, and then last name, not like some inboxes, where it comes up with the Last name first. However, maybe their inbox at the other end might display it the other way around, but i STILL sign off everything with my first name first.
HOWEVER, and this has happened numerous times, people email/fax back to me, or even call asking for me by my last name. and then they get all confused when they hear i'm female and think they are talking to the wrong person. this one guy who just called then, i had to explain to him for 5 minutes that there wasn't a boy graphic designer called XXXXX, and that XXXXX was my last name and that i am the only graphic designer here, and that i was the right person he should be talking to. arghsdfjasljfdf!!!!


10 points to anyone who can guess my last name. i will crown thee, Interweb Stalker Extraordinaire *virtually of course*. and if anyone who already knows it spoils it for everyone else, i will hit you in the boob/crotch area (depending if you're male/female- and NO that wont be virtually if you live here in brisbane)
and now back to work *sigh*

02.07.04 | mobLOG

Notice to all of my friends who are ever considering getting married- No i dont want to be your bridesmaid EVER!
only coz its heathers wedding am i'm willing to shut up and fork out all my hard earned dosh on a crazy bridesmaids outfit. mind you, i know i will be able to wear pieces of the outfit again, so it makes it more worthwhile then spending a couple of hundred dollars on a dress that makes me look like a meringue and then will sit in my cupboard til it smells like mothballs. but my god, weddings are so bloody expensive- not that i was thinking of getting hitched, but its certainly turned me off even more. then again, ask me again AFTER the wedding. i'm sure after seeing how well it comes together and how beautiful heather looks, i'll be singing a slightly less 'anti-wedding' tune.
hens' night party tonight! definately looking forward to it after all the preparations we've been doing. i'm leaving work early today to get home and start setting up for it. i'm a bit worried i'm going to be utterly buggered tonight- firstly, i got to bed late coz of the makeup trial running a bit late, i woke up super duper early as usual, i've had the most stressful morning ever (jobs galore, and of course EVERYTHING is urgent), the xerox machine is making my life hell, and now i'm feeling light headed and nauseous because of the bottle of shellite that i left in here after using it to get rid of the sticky residue left behind from these labels that got jammed in all sorts of awkward places inside the machine. bargh!
feeling a bit better now that i'm having my kantong thai red curry frozen dinner. hehe i love frozen dinners so much- well i would defintely chose real asian food over this, but its better (and hell cheaper) than anything the cafe down the road offers. well its not better than hot chips or wedges, but i'm not even goign to think of those *seconds on the lips, months on the hips* and i've got a wedding to look good for.... if i could just motivate myself to exercise i'd be sweet. but alas, alack, i'd rather be laying on my back...... SLEEPING! heeehhe, ok so i lay on my stomach when i sleep....