::ARCHIVES::
30.07.03
*send some lovin*
well today was a huge day.. i worked last nite and didn't get home til 4:30.... showered, bed.... woke up at 10:30... fucked around on the internet... rushed down to the post office and picked up a parcel of clothes i bought off the vogue forum. they all fit awesomely!!!!! yay for buying things cheaply online!!!!! then i rushed off to the city, met up with my cousin and aunty and i got a lift out to some random suburb where my dad's graduation ceremony was being held...... for the past 7 or 8 months my daddy has been in the police academy!!!! he had a bit of a midlife crisis after my mum and him split up.... he moved out, quit his job, applied for the police force, and moved to brisbane...... anyway, all his hardwork has paid off and my father is now officially a police officer.... woah!!! freaky! i mean, there goes telling my dad about all the illegal things i do.... no dad i dont do drugs... i dont scam the government and receive more centerlink then i'm spose to..... no i dont use 1 zone bus tickets in a 2 zone..... i dont work at a strip club and get paid 'cash in hand'.... hahah however he does know about most of the stuff. i just have to remind everyone not to make illegal chemical drugs at my house anymore, and steve and i will have to stop bringing home all those prostitutes..... damn. ;) hehehe
click for full image
the ceremony was very formal... i was teary quite a few
times during it. i'm just so damn proud of my dad. his whole life was
turned upside down during the last few years, yet he has pulled through.
but what gets to me more, is that i know he hurt.... he was depressed....
he cried in front of me. that's what made me respect and love him more...
he showed me his true feelings and opened up his heart to me and i watched
him get through this and now look where he's at!!!! i totally understand
what a proud parent must feel when their child really accomplishes something
great. my dad is really something. he's such a nice guy- he's seriously
one of the most perfect people i know... he's the very model of the perfect
citizen..... he doesn't smoke, doesn't drink much and never excessively,
he never speeds, he can cook and iron amazingly, he cleans!!! and i mean
he really cleans. more than anyone else in my family,
he's the cleanest. i'd border on saying he's a bit obsessive at times.
he's so organised, he donates blood a few times a year, he exercises more
than 5 times a week... he cylces/runs/swims (one of them or somethings
2) every day. he never swears... he's always mega polite.....
he's motivated and driven in all parts of his life... he can knuckle down
and work his ass off , even when he's dead tired and depressed (he barely
procrastinates), he is usually in bed by midday and is usually up by 6am...
he's amazing.... i always feel like a bit of a let down, compared with
my dad. but i guess his amazingness pushes me to strive for my best......
anyway i just wanted to share how great my dad is with everyone. we didn't
get along well until i finished high school.... we were just too different
and couldn't connect.... but the last 5 years have seen our relationship
bloom... and i'm so happy and proud to have him as my father....... *grin*
ahhh the sangria is going to my head now... i canta write anymore captain
(we found a spanish restaurant in brisbane!!!! yay! havent had spanish
since sydney...mmmmmmmm, we couldn't drink all the sangria so i brought
it home and just drank it then.... mmmmm wooozy)
28.07.03
*send some lovin*
a quiet monday night at home... alone.. *cry* hehehe its trivia night for the film festival- and steve is down at the powerhouse hopefully part of the winning team. rachel and i went to the gym again today- step class again. hopefully my calves will be in better shape tomorrow. i just cooked a yummmmy meal- vege's, mash potatoe and grilled chicken with asa's marinade!!! (thanks to rhi for rekindling my love for chicken) and i'm sitting here feeling very full and content... oooh actually i'm going to pour myself a frangelico then i'll be totally set :)
*pause while i run off to the kitchen*
ok now i'm set....i just have a really contented feeling
this evening....its nice for once.
i might be going home to bundaberg this weekend, as there is a bit of
family gathering being held for a few peoples birthdays. i'm pleased to
hear this news and really hope it happens because i didn't know if i could
wait a whole month until i see my mum..... yes, i really really miss her,
but i am dying for a change in hairstyle. so hopefully-
this weekend, go home for a few days and chop chop chop
all my hair off..... i'm thinking about this
short... not shaved, but shorter on top and front.... would like to
mess it up... like really mess it up! i've always had such neat hair...
and even this shorter style is still not messy enough. thoughts?
ok i'm being distracted by bad tv.... byeeee
26.07.03
*send some lovin*
i'm at rach's on the computer while she showers and washes out her hair dye... i have
hair dye and aluminium foil in my hair! wheee! just touching up the redness in my hair.
my cold has worsened... thursday nite was horrible, i couldnt sleep coz my head was so
stuffed up. and i kept waking myself up by coughing. becoz my eyes were watering the whole
night, i woke up with really puffy bloodshot eyes. not a nice look, really.
i had to work friday nite, and it was nasty. cigar smoke was setting off my coughing really
bad. luckily it was a quiet night and girls were shifted around so i could go home at 1am...and i also got someone to take over my shift tonite (saturday).. i feel slack, coz
i hate calling in sick, but seriously, how can i waitress and carry a tray full of glasses
and have a coughing fit? glasses everywhere, drinks spilt... no it would just be a messy
messy night. i need the money, but hell, i'll live. health is more important right?
woke up this morning, nose feeling better... still very mucusy (spelling?), and i'm still
coughing alot... but a bit better.... and i have a saturday nite off!!!!! i know i should be
resting and recovering.... but.... axel and kirsty are having a party so i think i might go
along. at least i can keep warm at someone's house.... i know its a bullshit excuse, but i have
to convince myself otherwise in a fit of guilt i'll ring up work and say i am better.
anyway, i just wanted to say that heather has made
rach a bit of a blog site thingy.
rach's
posts are always funny!!! heheh check it out! good to see miz chii back online. we'll organise
a cam somehow soon! yay!!!
18.07.03
*send some lovin*
UPDATE: WHEEEEE i got a present!!!! the phone rang... i nearly didn't
answer it thinking it was someone i didn't want to talk to (feeling antisocial).
but i did and it was steve and he put money down at the casino, won some
and then bought me a present to make me feeeeeeel better coz i'm been
moaning and complaining... cough and sore calves!!!! awww my boyfriend
is nice sometimes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i started doing up a new layout but haven't touched it in the last few
days. so i guess that plan is on hold for a bit longer.
i feel rotten. i've had this nasty nasty cough for the last few days.
my stomach hurts from tensing up and coughing all the time and my throat
is just aching. i'm a bit sniffly but its just this cough that is totally
killing my body. im just feeling run down all over, which sucks coz i'm
bored shitless at home, but i dont want to go out drinking or in smoking
environments coz it will only make me worse. i'm trying to rest and recover
and taking these horseradish, garlix + C tablets... (yea it actually has
garlix, not garlic... i wonder what that means? i thinks its just a garlic
mix *shrugs*) they smell and taste like licorice which is really strange.
any tablets with garlic in them usually taste like absolute shite... they
aren't chewable tablets, but i've been sucking on them for about 10 seconds
before swollowing them... i like the taste :P
i've decided to join the university gym... my membership at fernwood
gym ran out early june but i hadn't gone since april at least.but looking
back at pics taken at the beginning of the year, i looked hot, i had lost
weight and toned up.. i've put it back on again and i'm all squishy around
the middle.,.... mmmm love handles.plus sitting for long hours in front
of the computer is hell on my back. i've always had a weak back and had
problems in grade 10... my lower back muscles are stronger than my lower
ab muscles, therefore it pushes my spine out of whack. i need to tighten
lower ab muscles to improve my posture, blah blah blah. anyway the uni
gym is hell cheap and rachel goes there- so she'll be my motivation to
go. i rarely get to see rach so gym will be our socialising. and rach
is actually motivated, unlike my last gym buddy who was lazier than i
am.
actually i'm hoping rach will be over this evening, to help me do something
with my hair. the red bits are fading to an off pinkish colour so i bought
some fudge but need a hand with it. but yea, i tagged along to a step
class on monday. man it felt so good! sweating and getting my heart rate
up. i felt awesome tho my the end my legs were like jelly. however, i
am really unfit. my calves are killing. the muscles feel like they are
about 2 inches shorter than before the class. after sleeping or sitting
for a while, i can barely stretch my legs right out and when i stand on
them, i walk with them half bent. i'm a loser! i wanted to go to another
class today, but alas, my legs need resting.
ooh my washing has finished and my machine is beeping.....brb
still coughing and hacking up lungs. heather
has put up more photos in her albumn- including the hollardores
film clip shooting and the hollardores
at the indie temple the other week. check
them out. i feel bad coz i am so far behind with my photos. i have
heaps to put up.
i've just spent the last hour going thru josie
nutter's photo albumns on her yahoo group. man, she is gorgeous and
her hair! i'm so tempted to do something drastic like shave my head, altho
i know it wouldn't suit. i think my head is too big and funny shaped.
i do want to do something really crazy with my hair tho. but i'm not sure
what. any ideas?
german bold italic.
18.07.03
*send some lovin*
UPDATE: tis a few hours later, i'm finishing off the gallery
of photos from rhiannon's trip to australia,
so keep checking the photo galleries for
updates while i do them. and also- DON'T
DO DRUGS KIDS!!!! eeeek!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i've been having really vivid dreams lately. i wake all disorientated and it freaks me out, but i think its why i've been sleeping so much, i look forward to sleep because it means i'll dream. that sounds so sad, doesn't it? meh, i've been feeling really run down and moody... i made myself skip a period when i was in sydney (by not taking the white pills and jumping straight on to the next pack of pills). its not good to do it often and i have only done it once before, but i swear i have 2 months worth of PMS building up inside me and its all starting to bubble over now. i'm usually pretty good, not too moody but this time- ergh, i would hate to be steve right now... and drinking doesn't help. i have a drink or two and i turn into a bitch, or get all emotional and starting crying. well fingers crossed its PMS and nothing more. since i got back from sydney, i've been feeling a bit,.... mmm introverted or something. i dont want to see people, i'm not making a real effort to contact friends. rather than doing something, i'm just sitting at home and sleeping alot. mmm ok.....
anyway, classes have officially started for me. i went to my first class yesterday at 10am... which meant getting up at 9am (yuck- especially coz i worked til 4:30am the night before- yay for 4 hours sleep!). Design Project A- it looks like alot of work, but i think i will enjoy it. we have to come up with a project (animation or interactive piece or something) and work on it- research, concept statement, proposal, working up to a final prototype or proof of concept by end of semester. now i figure, if i'm going to work on something for a whole semester, putting alot of time into research and whatnot, i might as well do somethng that i can use afterwards or would be of some use to myself or to someone. i've heard of past students approaches their place of work and asking for a project to work on, that tey will then complete and the company can use it.... unfortunately my job is not course related. i was thinking perhaps doing a really neat flash portfolio site for myself.... but maybe that's the wrong angle to take as well. debra, my lecturer, was really pushing "think of the idea first, then your skills. dont limit your idea to your skills or lack there of." naturally i was thinking "hmmm i'm good at webdesign, graphics, flash (kinda)... but not so good at 3d, director. ok so my project will involved web, graphics and flash" oops.
class finished and i went and spoke to debra some more and
we finally sorted out my enrollment- i have only 3 subjects left before
i can graduate.... and they are the 3 subjects i'm doing this semester...
actually i only need 2 more subjects to make up enough credit points,
but i want to do this third subject :) so i will graduate after this semester
YAY! but eeeeek!
My second class was at 6pm (i love night time classes, so much better
than morning classes). its called professional studies, and i have to
admit i had no idea what it would be about. strangely, its a lot more
abstract than i imagined... ("professional" made me think practical
and relevant to life after university) we are having alot of guest lecturers-
people from the "real world", however the first assignment is
"To develop a vision for what you, in concert with your supporting
communities, wish to achieve in the years after your graduation, stretching
at minimum over the next decade" ..... uh.... WHAT?!?!?! we
can present this vision in ANY format we want. a graphic, a painting,
writing, sculpting... whatever. natural the first thing that pops into
my head is Interpretive Dance and i sit there trying not to piss myself
laughing.
the second (and last) assignment is "Promoting A Vision - A Portfolio
of where you are at now and where you aspire to evolve towards....To present
your vision in a tangible form in a way that most effectively communicates
your aims, ideas and aspirations for the future. Should also include a
two-page resume (or equivalent)." again i say... WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?
this is a rather random subject.... and i have to admit, i haven't thought
alot about where i'll be. sure i want to be working, aim to be sucessful
in whatever i'm doing. but i'm also clueless about alot of things... like,
what exactly my course will lead to. i've put off thinking about it for
the past few years, as i've had direction in my life....
random family member or family friend-
"so what are you doing with yourself??"
me- "i'm at university!!!!"
random family member or family friend-
"ahhh good for you."
soon i will be a "just graduated from uni"
and a "i'm currently looking for work"...
and i just had hoped something would come along during that time.
hopeful? yes. naive? probably.
my third subject is a supervised project. i told heather about it and
we both expressed our interest, so its her and i, debra and some other
guy working on "3 Sites"... these 3 sites run by QUT- a sort
of arts community kind of thing. "No
Ink", "No
Chairs" and "No
Walls".
i keep getting distracted. this post is taking ages to write.... i've
been looking at the websites of debra (course co-ordinator) and gavin
(ex-head of communication design), and its making me feel even more lost.
i wish i could as arty-farty, philosophical, and sure of myself and my
design skills as they both are. i often feel like i jumped on the computer/internet
bandwagon just a bit too late. i'm just a bit too young and just missed
out on really being a part of it.
20 minutes later- gah this post is long. i guess coz i dont write stuff often enough, when i do get motivated, shit just keeps spilling from my mouth. i just got dressed up, and i feel a bit better. 3/4 tights, pink satin One Teaspoon skirt, and my silver high heels from my prom. dressing up always makes me feel better. no one is home so i'm occassionally dancing around the lounge room. hehe just one of those days.
10.07.03 **** ELIMINATION
ONLINE ****
*send some lovin*
it seems like i start every post the same way. "sorry i've been slack with the posts.... its been ages since i last posted".... so today i wont.
rhi's time in australia went by all too quickly. before i knew it, asa and i were taking her to the airport and seeing her off. i cried like a baby as we walked back to the car- such a great friend was all the way on the other side of the world. i dont doubt that we'll meet up again one day, but it might not be for years. its my turn to come visit her, but travelling to america is just not something i see myself doing any time soon. firstly, its a huuuuuge country and i want to see it all, so if i go over than i want to have the time and money to be able to travel around the country, whether it be flying or driving. america is not a 2 week holiday, i would want to have at least 2 months or more to explore and see everything. second, even tho the australia dollar has grown stronger in relation to the american dollar (or the american dollar has grown weaker) since the "war", its still not a country i can afford to travel and live in on my meager student budget. south east asia- no worries, i can live like a king, nth america- no way. once i am working a full time job i will be able to afford trips to usa and europe, but i'll be spending the next few years climbing the ladder to success so even if i am working, travel won't be happening straight away. *sigh* anway, the condensed version is i can't see myself travelling to the states (and visiting rhiannon) for quite some time.
after rhi left, i went and stayed with my aunty and uncle and pretended to be part of the work force for a week. my aunty had organised work experience at F2 (f2.com.au) and Net X (netx.com.au), and for a week i was getting up at 6:30am, bussing it to work, and got a bit of an insight into the webdesign industry and how these 2 companys work and function. the most important thing i've realized, is not what grades you get, what university you went to, its the experience you've had, people you've worked with, people you know. needless to say, i have very little experience, so that's the goal for the next six months. go and offer to work for free a couple of afternoons a week somewhere, do the shit kicker jobs, anything, just to get a start.
at the end of the week, i went back to asa's
and we went out again saturday nite.... i had been waking up every
morning with a sore throat, and saturday was the catalyst.... the cold
air, the smoke machine, the alcohol, the cigarettes, everything else.....
by the end of the night my voice was gone. i stayed at my other aunty's
house on sunday night- she's out west, about 40 mins out of sydney....
it got down to 0 degrees celcius in the morning, and there was frost and
ice on the grass when i woke up- brrrrrrrr. went to a dancing eisteddfod
and saw my 5 year old cousin, Dayna, do her first jazz solo. Trained it
back to the city and met up with asa
and her friend, Joey and we walked up and down Oxford street- checked
out some wigs shops, second hand clothes stores.... didn't end up buying
anything for myself, but got steve a Roy Jacket for $100 ($270 retail
price) at the Roy wearhouse sale. Had a quiet last night in Sydney, then
out to the airport on monday afternoon. Saying goodbye to asa
was hard, but at least i know i'll see her again in another 6 months or
so.
Heather and rob
picked me up and drove me home. i was soooo excited to be home and see
steve. His nanna
was up in brisbane and i came home to a delicious meal of veal, mashed
potatoes and sauerkraut! we've still got a huge pot of sauerkraut in our
fridge.