::ARCHIVES::

30.12.03
*jingle bells, xmas hell, send some loving this way*

UPDATE: OMG!!!!! i was just checking my stats and it says there are over 100 people on my site right now!!!!! and i've had a shitload of hits from everyone searching my website after reading the article! woah, talk about free publicity. anyway i just felt like i should update AGAIN and get on cam or something. all these people wanting to see a "camgirl" site- i feel its my right to give them a taste of the voyeurism! so yea, there should be live-ish cam action happening all day. ergh i'm still in my pj's tho.

BAH how crazy, i woke up to find my photo in The Age Newspaper (online- but i'm going to go and get a paper copy too).... anyway you can find the article here. It was the same woman who wrote the article for B Magazine earlier in the year- and she obviously didn't change much because it still says i'm 21... NOT LIKE THAT IS A PROBLEM AT ALL!!!! and they used that horrible photo from wet-n-wild too haha.

29.12.03
*jingle bells, xmas hell, send some loving this way*

my day is always so much better once i abuse the shit out of some dumbass on AIM. seriously, i feel so much lighter. i really can't believe the stupidity and complete unoriginality of most people. 90% of people who message me quote the same things over and over again. its the same conversation in all 10 chat windows.

i feel like kfc, and i hate fast food. damn those scrumptious and succulent ads on tv. greeeeeasy chicken, i know i shouldn't, but oh the thought of those greeeeasy chicken pieces mmmmmm.... however, everytime i do eat kfc i always end up feeling sick and bloated afterwards, but every 6 months i think my body has changed, and every 6 months i fall for the colonel's dirty tricks again.
sizzler is my other weakness. all you can eat salad bars always kill me, yet every 6 months or so, i give it another go, and as always roll out of there in pain. actually its been more than 6 months, i'm due for another sizzler death i think! anyone wanna join me? rach? hehehe

28.12.03
*jingle bells, xmas hell, send some loving this way*

*cry* awww my mum just left. i got all teary, its always so nice to have my mum come and stay, and its always so sad to see her go. i miss her heaps and heaps, and wish we lived closer so i could see her more often.
anyways, its been a crazy few days- our apartment is totally revamped thanks to mum and dad. steve and i had been wanting a new couch for ages, because the one we have was a hand-me-down from my great-grandma. actually most of my furniture is second hand, or hand-me-downs (except for my whole bedroom suite). and that's suited me fine up until now... doing the student thing, living the student life style, the sharehouse lifestyle.... however, i'm growing out of that stage now.

things definately on the shopping list were:

*a nice couch- a little bit bigger than the current teeny tiny one.
*a single bed for the spare room (we only had a camper bed in there).
*a new stereo (my old one wasn't playing all cd's anymore, it was 10 years old so it was well and truly on its death bed)

and a new stereo (mine wasn't playing cd's anymore, it was 10 years old, so it was well and truly on its death bed). We soon found an awesome couch, stereo (yay 3 disc rotation- i know its not a new technology but my old hifi was made way before that technology existed), a big black leather computer chair, 3 piece nested coffee tables, a new rug, and heaps of cool cushion covers.

PHOTOS- Stereo | Computer Chair | Coffee Tables (in the store) | Lounge Room 1 | Lounge Room 2 | Lounge Room 3 (new couch) | Dad, Mum & I at dinner

i'm going to have to redo the tour of my apartment (in the random section) since its totally out of date now.

i found a neat little thing on Laurita's website- it shows you what song is playing on my winamp right at this exact moment (of course if i'm not online then nothing shows up). but since i'm always online i thought it was kinda cool. not sure if anyone is interested in seeing my daggy music collection. but yea, either click the link down the bottom of the side bar for a pop-up window that backtracks and shows my history of songs..... or there is this ugly image thing that appears at the top of my blog, tho i might remove that soon.

my god this chair is sooooo comfy and sooo big! hahah you can't see past it at all, it totally fills my cam image. but i've wanted a big comfy chair for so long and have just been putting it off longer and longer.

25.12.03
*jingle bells, xmas hell, send some loving this way*

Have a Munted....uh, I mean, MERRY CHRISTMAS where ever you are in the world.

its 9am and we've opened out presents and now we're about to have a yummy ham and eggs breakfast!

24.12.03
*jingle bells, xmas hell, send some loving this way*

one more day til santa arrives, but only a few more hours til my mum arrives and that's more important!!!!! i've had a few emails in the past from people who have said "hi, i have a friend in who lives in brisbane, and i saw on your site that you were from brisbane, maybe you know them?" and i always slap my forehead, screw up my face and say a loud, "DERRRRR!" However, i now realize how small and incestuous the whole of brisbane really is.
in february of this year, when i went down to sydney, i caught up with asa and we went out for a wild and crazy night at Tank. we have dropped our pills, and i needed to go off to the bathroom. in typical nightclub fashion, there was a huge line up for the female toilets. there was a pretty girl in front of me, and we quietly nodded and sighed at each other, the universal "oh god, typical long line up, can't these girls piss quicker?"... then suddenly, i started peaking, REAL BAD. i dont really remember what happened but i started chatting to that girl in front of me and she was peaking at the exact same time. needless to same, our simultaneous E-experience brought us closely together, even if only for just a few hours that night.

ANYWAY, the point of the story is: i just got an email from her! a friend of hers pointed her in the direction of my website, and she realized she had met me before!!!!! such a small and crazy world. i'm so going to have to met up with her now and have a drink, or two, or another similiar bender.

other news: mum arrives this afternoon, so i should be getting a hair cut in the next couple of days. i'm thinking of going a fair bit shorter, this time getting rid of the bulk and length of the hair around my face. tho i am a little scared, coz i'm so used to having a fringe now, and i used to have this problem when i was little- forehead phobia.... seriously!!!!
my mum has a large forehead (in days gone by it was a sign of royalty) and she's always been paranoid of it. the story goes, right after i was born and mum was still drugged out from the cesarean, the first thing she asked was "does it have my forehead?" not, was i a girl or boy? hahah anyway, mum thinks i used to hear her tell that story as a kid and developed a fear of my own forehead.

maybe its partly true, but all i know is i grew up with long hair and a fringe! always had the fringe. i got so used to myself with a fringe, if i had to pull it back (for dancing etc) i thought i looked really wierd, and used to freak out. another example of how stupid and vain i was, i would get used to one hairstyle (say, piggytails).... i'd get so used to it, that if mum tried to do my hair some other way (ponytail) i would freak out. so on weekends or on school holidays she would MAKE me wear my hair the other way, until i got used to it. the problem was, i'd then get so used to it being in that style, that if she tried to go back to the other style, i would freak out again.

i know, i was a stupid child. but finally, at 15 i grew out my fringe and all was good. however now, i'm so used to seeing myself with a fringe, and alot of hair around my face, i think i look wierd when i pull all my hair back. HOWEVER, that said, i still want to cut my hair alot shorter. i'm thinking along the lines of a 2001/02 vintage tegan and sara style:

but i figure, its just hair, it'll grow back. and i wont ever be able to grow my hair again until i have done the real short thing. long hair is such a committment, and altho sometimes i miss it, i'm not ready to dedicate a few years of my life to it, spend many months going through those horrible in-between stages. not yet.

if i dont get back online before tomorrow- MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! have a good one, eat and drink heaps, and have heaps of fun.

21.12.03
*jingle bells, xmas hell, send some loving this way*

cold n flu relief remedy #135- nothing like an orgasm to clear up your sinuses! a tried and tested remedy which proved to work wonders :D hehehe
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yea i'm sick once again. i seriously must have such a bad immune system. nothing is relieving the pain which is block sinuses.... as a result, my nose is blocked yet continually running, and my eyes are constantly running. its as if i've been crying non stop for 48 hours, so i now having massively red/puffy eyes. my nose is also really sore from blowing it constantly, even tho i'm using 3ply aloe vera tissues.
but enough about my crappy health, i'm sure you dont want to read about that. however, that's the reason i haven't posted in ages, or been on cam.

ok there is something i wanted to write about. it really had me confused. the other night, before my eyes puffed up too badly, i went to my local thai restaurant. now, anyone who knows me will know that i'm a complete thai nut! i love thai food. needless to say, i go to the restaurant quite often.
there is a girl that works there, she's quite young, quite attractive. probably only about 19 or so. she works part time there, and i always say hi, and have a brief conversation with her when i'm there.

one day, rach and i were in the city and we stopped in at a clothing store- it was the time i had that crazy rash on my face from stress and the cheap perfume, and i was feeling really gross and didn't really want to see anyone. this store girl comes up to me and i'm thinking "oh wow, she's really familiar, how do i know her?" she mentions something about coming in to her restaurant all the time, and i put two and two together. its the girl from the thai restaurant. anyway, she is uber friendly and chatty, but i put it down to it being her first day working there. afterwards rachel agreed with me, she's sooo friendly to me, always complimenting me on my hair or something (even tho that day i looked utterly crap). it really feels like she REALLY wants to be my friend.

a few weeks later, rach and i go into the restaurant and she's there.... we exchange pleasantries, and then really excitedly, she introduces me to her sister who's working there too... no explanation, just "oooh and this is my sister!"... and her sister shyly waves and says hi. the wierd thing is, i dont even know her name... i dont think she even knows mine. but she introduced me like i was an old friend, or someone famous or something.
anyway, two nights ago when i go and pick up my food, she's behind the register and doesn't look up and realize its me until she tells me the price of my takeaway. her face lights up, "oh its you, hi! how have you been? are you goign out tonight? what are you doing?". seriously, i am feeling like utter shit, i had been lying on the couch ALL day, i dont think i had even showered at this point. i had complete bed hair- all smooshed flat at the back, and puffy at the top- NOT a pleasant look.
i tell her i'm feeling like crap and having a quiet night, and make up some lie that i'm probably having a big weekend so that's why i'm resting. *cough*bulllshit*cough*
i pick up my food, and start to walk away, and she calls out "i really like your hair, it looks really cool"..... i think i mumbled something about needing my roots done and then ran out of there....

either she's stupid, and keeps forgetting that i've had this haircut for ages, or she was really clutching at straws to make conversation..... i just dont get it. i felt so confused all night. it honestly feels like she has a crush on me- which is strange coz she seems like a real innocent, teeny bopper sort- definately no lesbian vibes. but she seems nervous, yet excited every time i run into her, and goes to awkward lengths to make conversation.

ok there was no point writing about it, but i just wanted to- its been nagging me for ages, and it feels better to get it off my chest. now if only i could get all this chunky phlegm off my chest as well. ergh well that's all for today. i really haven't got anything to write about since i've been trapped in this house for days now. xmas soon, mum is coming down on wednesday yay! we're thinking of going for a picnic down at the park. then dad comes on saturday. yay! of course, briony, (my sister) isn't coming down, so i wont see her til i go home to bundy. not that she cares, i'm sure.

16.12.03
*help me buy cool shoes*

wow christina rocked!!! (i did get some photos, and i'll put them up soon) and then last nite at work, we had the Pushworth Group Xmas Party. (its a music booking agent).omg, it was sooo packed out, but so much fun. i was a drink machine! there were about 5 or 6 bands that played throughout the night, including Fifth Avenue which include, Blair (from Big Brother and Neighbours) and 2 of his brothers. however, Blair didn't show, but the band rocked anyway. I so didn't realize 2 of them were his brothers. man, the singer was HOT! Shutterspeed also played, and Sleek the Elite, who is also from the TV show Fat Pizza. Tony and i were so star struck and we scored photos with Sleek, and Vicky (the accounts manager) got her boobs signed by Sleek! hahahah.

anyway, i have this stupid meeting, but i'll post more when i get home. argh running late as always!

14.12.03
*help me buy cool shoes*

tonight rachel and i are going to the christina aguilera concert!!!! check out the seating map here, we are in section 46A. so it should be pretty darn good. i dont think you're allowed cameras in the brisbane entertainment center..... and they confiscate them if you are caught taking one. someone suggested taking one PERFECT photo and then letting them confiscate your camera- but i'm worried i wouldn't get it back, someone could easily just piss off with it. i think i'll still take it and just see what happens. it should be so fun! elle's coming too, but she's sitting with william somewhere else- i think there will be going out afterwards! god, i haven't gone to a 'pop' concert since ricky martin in 2000- we were front row, pressed up against the barrier. that was awesome!
i know i know, everyone is probably laughing at my pathetic music tastes, but you've got to admit, it will be quite a show- pop singers always have great back up dancers, stage shows, pyrotechnics and the like.

i fixed up the pages of the OZ FAQ, so they fit in better and pop up in the right windows etc. and remember, if you have any question about australia, or anything australian- please email me - muntedmess@hotmail.com and i'll add your questions to the FAQ.

oooh yea i almost forgot- FINALLY alot of tegan and sara merchandise has come back into stock- i soooo want this green T&S since 1980 shirt, but i dont have a credit card. ergh. i dont know what the deal is with money orders or cheques- i guess i'll have to look into it. also i'm not sure what size- its a youth sized tshirt, but i want it as a fairly tight top. has anyone out there (any canadians?) bought anything from a similar vender, and know anything about the sizes? cheers!

13.12.03
*help me buy cool shoes*

UPDATE: omg excitement or what! turns out the whole building was broken into. the only apartments broken into (that we know of so far) were ours, the one beside us, and NUMBER 8 (unit 8 is up on the 4th story!!!!! wtf!!!) turns out we did lock the front door, but only locked the screen door at the back- they climbed up (god knows how) and sliced our security screen and reached their fingers in and flipped the switch that way. but how crazy that all they took was smokes and $10. the lady next to us got a watch, her whole wallet and some loose change stolen. so it definately must have been kids or druggo's. they didn't take anything of real value. and i'm so glad they left my wallet- its a LV fake that elle got me in thailand. hahaha only worth $50 or so, but still, it was a gift and i would hate to lose it.
but yea, thank god it was a lesson learnt at such a small cost. i am definately locking up EVERYTHING now. it just sucks in summer coz the apartment turns into a sauna when i get home, if everything is closed up and locked.
then i'm in the shower and the lights go out- the whole building lost electricity! eeeep! and i needed to blow dry my hair. luckily it just came back on. its only just midday and already my day has been crazy and excitement filled. wheeeeee!

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god i love avocados- i seriously can't get enough of good creamy avocado's, on toast with a bit of fetta cheese crumbled on top of it. YUMMO! damn its just so good. to think of all those years i wasted not liking avocados- i didn't realize what i was missing out on.

this morning has been a real wierd one. i woke up because steve was rushing around getting ready for work. he said he couldn't find his cigarettes anywhere, which is strange coz we both had a cigarette when he got home about 11pm. i got up to help him look and saw my purse on the table, and i remembered i had $10 note in there, i saw it when i went to the supermarket and i put everything on my card. i remember thinking "nah dont need any cash out, i've got $10, plus a shitload of change". then i went to the bakery and handed over exactly $2.60 for my bread, and i had heaps of coins left. anyway, i went to get the $10 note out for steve, but it wasnt there..... wierd.

anyway, he goes off to work and i jump back into bed. only i can't stop thinking about that $10. i get back up, and look again. nope, its definately not there, and there is now NO coins in my purse except a 5cent piece... i rang steve, thinking he must have borrowed some coins off me for the bus, that would explain why my purse was on the table and not in my bag on the floor. however, steve says he didn't, and said he noticed something funny when he woke up. his bag and my purse where sitting on top of each other out on the balcony on the deck chair. he asked me if i put it there, thinking i was changing purses or something. but i didn't put either purse or bag out there. i went to bed before steve, he came to bed about 2am i think, and then he was up at 8am. the screen door to the balcony was locked last nite and still this morning. but i cant remember locking the front door. we get a bit lazy when we are home, because our apartments have a front gate, but i know a few people have been known not to close it properly.

so we think someone came in and took our stuff. except nothing is missing except $10 and a bit of change, and steve's cigarettes. my $700 digi cam is still sitting here beside the computer, ALL the dvd's are still there, all cd's.... and it must have happened between 2am and 8am.... and we didn't hear anything- tho i usually do sleep like a log, but our front door makes quite alot of noise.

so i dont know what to think. it seems so pathetic to come into someone's house and take $10 and some coins, a pack of smokes, but leave everything else..... we both didn't hear anything, but we've turned the house upside down, and steve's cigarettes are definately not here, and i KNOW i had more money in my purse last night. luckily, its only $10. i'm just really perplexed, because i'm not sure if someone did break in or not.

on a totally different topic- we're having a brisbanelife meet up and xmas lunch today, which i'm really looking forward to. though i'm going to have to be frugle with my money- i can't believe how much i've been spending lately, and i haven't even done any xmas shopping! i have to stop eating out- well after this lunch of course! and cut back on the drinking :O

12.12.03
*help me buy cool shoes*

photos of our day at Wet-n-Wild are here!

what an awesome day! although i didn't get to sleep til 2am, i was up at 8am, and ready by 9pm. elle picked rachel and myself up, and we hit the road, and headed off for a day of fun in the sun at Wet-n-Wild. After a stop at subway for breakfast and a candy-run, we arrived, only to find the place swarming with little kids. ergh. note to self- dont come to a theme park at the end of the school year unless you plan to battle forces with small brats all day long. despite the children problem, we quickly stripped off and started off with a cruisy float around the Calipso Beach, in rubber tubes. it was so nice to be in the water, it was a stinking hot day, and we were determined to make it through the whole day without any sunburn, so we lathered ourselves up with sunscreen. 30+ all the way baby!

we went for a dip in the wave pool, and during the breaks from the waves, i tried to tred water (come on, its good for your thighs!). rachel proved she can't do anything but dog paddle, elle showed off her handstand skills and we all got whapped in the face a few times by random legs and elbows, all belonging to stupid, annoying little kids. we were sadly disappointed at the perving material- there was NONE!!!!! seriously, it was ugly day at wet-n-wild. even all the kids just looked horribly ugly and retarded. i swear, if i'm ever feeling clucky, a short trip to a theme park will quickly turn me off the idea of EVER breeding.
the whole place was over-run with school kids and high school kids. but there weren't even any hot 17 year old boys to perve on!!!! what's going on? high school boys were so much hotter a few years ago, has the whole country been hit by the ugly stick or what? pfffft, so yea, we didn't get to perve, but there were plenty of old fat men who happily stared at us while walking by. grrrrrr.

then we took the plunge and lined up for the Mammoth Rivers ride. Seriously, all the rides had huge lines, backed up to the sign that said "30 minutes wait from this point". Since the bottoms of our feet had already been singed off, we didn't feel like standing around for 30 minutes. Plus all the other rides were scary and rachel and i are big wusses. Finally we got to the top and jumped in a big tire and we were off!!!! it seriously has to be one of the tamest rides there, but i still screamed my head off. we didn't realize til we hit bottom that they take photos of you on the way down. our photo was pretty funny, tho it only caught rachel's back. oh well, next time.

we went back to our lockers and grabbed our bags and found some deck chairs in the shade. i scoffed my sub (which i illegally brought into the theme park!!!! OOOPS!!!!) and then we laid around and gossiped, which was seriously the best part of the day! we felt so 'sex-in-the-city-in-LA'. heheh (can you tell that elle and i have watched 2 and a half seasons of sex-in-the-city lately? its all thats on our mind) the girls wandered off for a while to find icecreams and stuff, and i sat back, relaxed and chain smoked. we were all starting to see a few tan lines, so more sunscreen was applied, and then finally after the heat of midday had passed, we were up and at it again.
back to the tubes, and we floated around about 3 times. i had a retarded tube i swear- i kept getting left behind!!! hahah then we got stuck behind (or infront?) of these group of shithead teenages who were just plain annoying. i sound like such an old fart, but i caught myself wanting to scream at kids "STOP RUNNING ON THE WET CEMENT!!!!" and "STOP SPLASHING YOU FUCKING TWIT!" ergh, this is exactly why i spend so much time at home, alone, online. i hate crowds- well only when the crowd is made up of little kids, annoying teenagers, old people and young parents. heh doesn't leave many societal groups, does it?

we went back to the Mammoth River rides and we lined up behind this white guy, his asian bride, their hyperactive kid and a couple of other random asian women (maybe he had three wives??? hahah who knows!), it appears no one told this guy that speedos are SO out of fashion. especially ones that are baggy and have a hole in the back. he was fluro white and we assumed he was british, but nope, he was aussie. then we noticed this HUGE thing on his back. it looked like a blackhead, but oh god, it couldn't be! this was like a huge crator with a big black head on it. seriously, it would have popped if you applied the tiniest bit of pressure on either side. it was horrible. we stared and pondered and umm'ed and ahh'ed for ages, but we couldn't work out what it was. seriously, a black head could never be this big.... or could it? for the rest of the wait, i wouldn't mean to look at it, but it was like a beacon!!! flashing at me!!! "HELLO RHIANNON, I AM A BIG PUSS FILLED BLACK HEAD, LOOK AT ME. LOOOOOOK AT ME!!!!" i'd be talking away, looking around at everyone and this blackhead would jump right in my vision. it was like a car crash- i didn't want to look, but i couldn't tear my eyes aaway. *shudders* i'll be having nightmares about that blackhead for weeks to come.

finally, it was about 3.30 and we decided to head home! high fives for the girls who didn't get sunburnt!!! yay! we wandered through the gift shop and i took a shitload of pictures of tacky merchandise i would never ever think to buy, and then we headed back to bris-vegas.

anyway i'm dying for a shower, i ment to have one straight away but got distracted by this damn computer.

photos are up here!

11.12.03
*help me buy cool shoes*

jane dragged me out last nite to see michael's band at the milk bar, and omg i was so blown away. Friendship Audio is the best thing i've heard in ages. They have a very jazzy/funk sort of sound, and michael's voice is just amazing (so is the female singers), i knew little michael could dance,but i had no idea he could sing too. i ran into amy, a girl who had had a bar trial at work with me on tuesday night. she was really sweet and we bonded over our love for tegan & sara and other such music. jane and i proceeded in getting really quite sloshed, and though it was funny to take "i just passed out from too much heroin" poses in the toilets.

check out my outfit. frances (a girl from work, who is a fashion student) made it for me for one of her subjects. i've also got red tights to go with it as well, as there is red and pink both throughout the outfit. i'm definately going ot have to get her to make me more stuff, i'm so happy with what she's done. and the best thing, is NO ONE will have anything like it! yay!

i ended up over a work and had a drink with william, but then cruised on home at a respectable hour, as i had this stupid centerlink appointment. i'm screwed in the ass.... now i'm on this "New Start" benefit program, i had to apply for 5 jobs a week and fill them all out in the job seekers diary. only i can't just apply for webdesign jobs- i have to apply for everything i am physically capable of doing- fucking retail jobs, cafe jobs everything. SCREW THAT! i want to be able to be picky, find the perfect "career" job for me. i dont want to waste my time working these fucking casual jobs just to get them off my back, i want a proper, career type of job. 9-5.... BLAH! i'm probably going to have to ask work to make me legit and put my on the books, at least then i wont have to apply for so many bullshit jobs. the worst thing, is that jobs i'm after, webdesign companys etc, dont advertise. its mostly in-house advertising. so how is joining fucking sarina russo job network, going to help me? ooh they teach me how to write a resume- i know that already. its such a load of crap. i mean, i understand that there are alot of complete dole-bludging shitheads, so they government looks good by saying "we're going to crack down on those dole-bludgers and make them look for more jobs!" and there are people who haven't completed high school or whatever, and seriously dont know how to write up a resume, dont have any skills etc.... but gah! come on, not everyone is part of that group. quite a large group of people who receive government benefits are people who study, and are trying to find a decent jobs so we can start paying large amounts of tax to support the unemployed. *sigh* i really need to get my shit together and find a full time job so i can rid my life once and for all of centerlink and all of their bullshit.

tonight, the holladores play once again out at the Sea Brae hotel in Redcliffe. yay bogans!!!! me, elle and heather are going out early and having a bite to eat the FishBowl Restaurant. All reviews say its pretty good- 50's themed- very tacky!!!! i'm definately taking the camera out so expect plenty of photos soon.

random flash thing of the day- http://www.rathergood.com/hedgehogs/
hehe this is hilarious and so, so dirty!

while i was trying to find information about the FishBowl Restaurant, I stumbled across this article that into this interesting tidbit about my local pub. (note: Bundy is Bundaberg Rum, from my home town, and XXXX is a local beer.

"Late last year, the Brunswick Hotel made a potent addition to its cocktail list - the Hec (double Bundy with a splash of XXXX). The drink commemorates Hector Hill, a regular since 1949 who once made a complete spectacle of himself chasing a thief through the streets while wet and naked from the shower. He was also toting a gun."

wtf? rum and beer mixed together? YUCK!!!! and commemorating a complete pyscho who just happened to be the regular drunk at that pub? riiiiiight.

08.12.03
*help me buy cool shoes*

i spent the morning in a stupid centerlink meeting. i swear they think we are all completely stupid. i'm moving on to the NewStart program, which is pretty much the dole. no longer a student, i can't receive austudy benefits! at least its a good kick up the ass to get myself motivation, since i dont want to have to do all the shitty things centerlink makes you do, fortnightly forms, job seekers diary, applying for stupid check-out-chick jobs etc.

a definite sign i'm feeling better- on my way home i stopped off and did some shopping. i'm really wanting to buy some more shoes! after the sex in the city marathon elle and i had the other nights, i dont feel i'm a true woman unless i have a shoe fetish. of course, the shoes i'm in the market for are not $500 plus, and are not high heels. i really want a pair of the vans classics- damn beautiful shoes, staring out at me from the Universal window, every time i walk to the valley mall.

of course, which colour is the next question...... PINK rocks, but i guess blue goes with more (goes with pink, goes with red) and i did buy a pair of pink cons off ebay and they are on their way. the vans are $89 australian.... which sucks. they are only $40 USD on the website, but of course dont ship to australia. at the moment the aussie dollar is so strong that $40USD is only $54 AUD, which is a complete steal! better than bloody $89 hmph!
then i saw a cute pair of mooks trainers in white..... ONLY $50... but they aren't as rad as the vans.... i hate being libran and completely indecisive. in typical fashion, i'm almost tempted to buy both just to save myself the headache of deciding. but i definately dont have the money for that. poo.
nah, i think the vans have won. why settle for something i dont like as much, just because its cheaper..... now to just save some dosh.... i hate xmas, all the presents i need to buy and all i want to do is buy shit for myself. hahaha

07.12.03
*send some lovin*

later that evening: i'm feeling much better. thanks everyone for the kind words.

its funny i find myself saying no to all sorts of social activities today/this evening. its like i'm afraid that i'll have a great time, when i'm really in the mood to mope. heh i know i'm going to kick myself tomorrow. a girl from work invited a bunch of us girls over and she's hired a male stripper. :( but i'm not there, i'm here, practically alone, with some red wine. oh well.

in a completely random, unexpected and unneccessary turn of events, i have once again been reminded that you really cannot count on anyone but yourself. people in your life are never quite what they seem, everyone has another side. and someone always rains on your parade. i've really got to learn to be more selfish sometimes. perhaps that is my new years resolution.... the year of rhiannon.

fuck you and goodnight.

05.12.03
*send some lovin*

i'm on the verge of grabbing a teaspoon and attempting to dig my brain out through my nose. i feel like grabbing my hair and yanking it hard, ripping it from my head, hopefully with some of my brain still attatched. there is something in the air that screams, "GO INSANE!!!!", and i want to scream back at it "FUCK YOU DOGSHIT!" blame it on tourettes. i wish i had a syndrome or something. something to explain the way i'm feeling. its just after midday yet its dark like dusk- a horrible, overcast rainy day, but its so humid. i was woken up at 8am, by the workmen, ready to rip a hole in our balcony. the house is in dissarays. the rest of the balcony is covered in concrete dust, the whole house is also covered in it, workmen footprints connect the front to the back door.
the noise is piercing my soul, digging a worm hole around in my brain. tapping, chipping, jackhammering, sawing. the noise is killing me. the workmen are annoying the shit out of me. they keep trying to talk to me, and i reply with sickly sweet responses, while my inner monologue is abusing the shit out of them. one is the boss and is the most dumbshit asshole, he keeps yelling at his little apprentice who is missing a few teeth and is monkey butt ugly. not that his looks should matter, but since i hate them both already, the fact that they are so repulsive just annoys me further.

i want my house back, i want my privacy back. i dont want to feel liek this, i dont want to be crying after an intimate moment. i dont know what's wrong. pms, yea the ultimate cop out, lets blame it on pms. *cough*bullshit*cough*. god damnit, save me the hassle and everyone who knows me in real life, piss off and stop reading my site. i want to vent PROPERLY and you are stopping me from doing that. gah, going into hermit mode, i want to be completely alone right now, i am sick of everyone and everything, i am just hating everyone, except the one person who keeps disappearing. i just want to have you in my life, and fuck everyone else. lets just hibernate and watch movies and have cold showers together and everything will just be fine.

instead, i've got to go and sit in a non-airconditioned room and show people who to play atari games. being around people will probbly do me good, stop me from raiding the fridge and moping around.

ps- if anyone takes offence by this, and makes me feel worse, i will personally slaughter you. fuck you, i'm usually nothing but peaches and cream, smiles and laughter, and for ONCE in my fucking life i feel depressed. yay let me wallow in self pity for fucking once.

03.12.03
*send some lovin*

post #2: god i'm so bored. yet i can't be fucked to do anything.
isnt that just screwed up? i mean, i've been invited to do a billion things tonight and i've said no to all of them or silently decided not to go, yet i'm bored out of my brain. the workmen arrive tomorrow at 7am, so half of my brain says "good thinking rhi, get a good nights sleep, otherwise you'll be grumpy tomorrow" but the other side of my brain (which is the smart side?) says "i'm sooooo bored, go out, or at least go and get drinks and drink yourself into a lonely, bored stupor.... ooh buffy marathon! sit up all night watching buffy, that will make you feel better!"

why is the stupid side of my brain much more vocal, and suggests fun things?

there were some pretty cool installations today- this atari, but the control pads where these flashing ufo shaped buttons on the ground which you run around and stomp on with your feet. i will take photos of it tomorrow. it was fun, but sooo hot, no aircon in that room and when i was in there, i just had to get up and play with every new person that came in. results- a hot, sweaty, sticky rhiannon.
then there was 'shadow play'- the crazy things on the screen interact with your shadow that is cast onthe wall when you stand in front of the projector. that also involves lots of running and jumping around.

jaymis is the human computer desk. he just comes up and says "here, talk to zofia!" and holds the computer up. after 5 minutes we decided that sitting down made more sense.

shadow play- catching the falling raindrops in the shadow of my arm.

my comments turn 100 during this post, so god-damnit, someone comment!!!!! make me and my comments feel loved.

oh dear god, the workmen are over and one of them had a christmas carol ring tone?!?!?! why oh why would you ever CHOOSE to have such a nasty horrible tune for your phone. i hate christmas and all the shit that goes along with it. decorations, carols, BLAH! gimme the boxing day sales! that's the only good thing about this time of year.

so the response to the new layout is mostly positive, which makes me happy. i've still got to fix up a few things, and will probably be making slight changes oover the next few days, so keep an eye out for that.

elle has returned from her south east asian adventures, and has returned with many awesome fakes! she got me a LV purse and bag, gucci watch, D&G halter top, dvd etc. and they are GOOD fakes! not that i can really tell, but all the girls at work who know their designer labels, tell me their are amazing fakes. so yea, i'm so cool now, with my Louis Vuitton purse and hand bag. oh yea, i'm a woman on the world now.

i'm volunteering today, tomorrow and friday at the SOOB festival (Straight Out Of Brisbane), manning the Electronode Installation space. 2-6pm today, 10-2pm tomorrow, and 2-6pm friday. so any brisbanites, come and laugh at me, or come and enjoy the installations, or both. do i have many brisbane-readers, who aren't already in my immediate circle of friends? i dont know. i really need more tho, so then i can start trying to promote clubs or something to gain free membership and special privileges.

hehehe ok usually i hate people that just post conversations for blog entries.... its usually personal jokes that no-one but those involved understand... and hell, maybe this is too. but i thought it was funny. i just realized how true this was and how sad it is.....

elle says:
I know I need to do my website.. but like.. its the whole installing of software thing thats stalling me
rhiannon says:
awwwwwwwww do it, do it! i want to be able to link you when i talk about you. hahaha
elle says:
haha is that all ui am to you A LINK!
rhiannon says:
YESSSSSS! its a digital expression of our friendship
rhiannon says:
you dont feel like a real friend unless i can link you

OH GOD, i can't stop eating cadbury's favourites- they are just sitting there screaming "EAAAAAAAAAT ME!" ok little chocolate piece, i will do as you say!

UPDATE: just clearing off my camera from jane's birthday bbq on sunday (where i drank solidly for almost 12 hours, plus a green rolex, and was seriously SICK on monday- ergh!) it was a great, but trashy night. we smashed a whole bottle of smirnoff black in jonny's car park. oops! the night ended up at jonny and ross's cute little apartment, not too far from me. it was the funkiest place, those boys are so grown up now, awwwwww. we all stumbled down to the river and much trashy behaviour took place. a fun night indeed. anyway we all took some HOT pictures. this is my favourite:

jonny, andrew, ross, me & jane.

i'm sorry, but we are hot bunch! shitloads of alcohol always turns me into such a poser. plus i had a FABulous outfit on that day- PINK!

01.12.03
*send some lovin*

new month, new layout! its quite green, i know. i haven't had a green layout yet.