::ARCHIVES::
31.08.03
*send some lovin*
photos from friday night and tegan & sara concert last night will be up tomorrow... its the end of the month and we have about 40meg left of our bandwidth limit. hehe.
ahhh the concert last night- well what can i say. it was fantastic. the girls were definately a bit pooped after a huge week of touring. tegan said she's starting to get a head cold, but it didn't stop her sounding absolutely brilliant. the girls were both shorter than i imagined (which rocks, yay for shorties!!!!) and so gorgeous in person.
laura imbruglia (natalie imbruglia's waaaay cooler sister) was amazing too. i bought her cd coz she was hilarious. she broke a string and dind't get to play a song, which i think was going to be "dont stray from my site" but oh well. she got up in the middle of tegan & sara's performance to sing some really daggy song... i can't remember what it was. and then she daggy danced while the girls played a more "rock" song. hahha laura was hilarious. corona in hand, dancing like a complete spazz. she was quality!
after the show it was over to the merchandise table for signings. i was a bit drunk and figured i might as well make the most of the night- so i just stood there leaning on the table and had a chat with tegan. asked if she got to hang out much with the guys from the panel, told her to try to find some of their old stuff (the late show- ahhh classic aussie humour), hehe i know i should have been more like "ooh tegan and sara" but i was just so envious they had met the guys from the panel. sara was alot quieter than tegan the whole night. tegan was alot more outgoing, my kind of person, but sara definately has spunk. actually, both of them do. i swear, either one of them would have no trouble at all converting me. sorry steve!! hehe
we followed them after they left the merchandise table, to a "musicians
only" room. only people kept leaving the door open. katie (girl from
melbourne who i met during the show) and i were hanging around, contemplating
going in but didn't want to intrude or be too rude and stalkeris haha.
i got laura to sign my cd and had a quick chat. spoke to t&s's guitarist,
and he was saying how they were flying at 7am.
chatted to the boys from Grandville
(the other supporting act). now, WHAT WAS THE DEAL WITH THAT??? who ever
organised this gig for them needs a good slap in the face. tegan &
sara and laura imbruglia are chick rock, folk, punk, indie, whatever....
the audience was 99% lesbian. so why have an all male heavy punk rock
band as supporting act??? needless to say, Grandville wasn't much a hit
with the audience.
but the guys were nice, and we had them convinced to come out drinking
with us, but they kept complaining about having NO money, so in the end
they just went back to their friends place. pikers!
we hung out til 1am, spoke to t & s again, i got a picture between
the 2 girls (yay!), and then they finally left.
what's with sara's facial expression tho?
the night didn't end there. we cruised on down to the Wickham, met some cool gay boys (i love gay boys!) danced and boogied for ages. i ended up at GPO with one of the cute boys, drank waaay too much, lost him and ended up talking to strange people, then stumbled home. i remember really stumbling and trying to send an sms, but my eyes weren't working. i had to close one eye and squint the other just to focus on the phone screen. been feeling seedy all day but it was soooo worth it. photos, signed tshirt and poster and cd, and the memories of seeing tegan and sara, the hottest canadian twins, play an awesome concert.
off topic, i've been seeing the colgate simply white (teeth whitening gel) ads for ages and i was thinking of trying it out. bought some yesterday and i've started the 14 days to a whiter, brighter smile. so we'll see if it works or not. i'm always paranoid about stains on my teeth coz of smoking etc. i dont drink coffe but cigarettes and redwine i'm sure are to blame for the 'less than pearly' appearance of my teeth.
ok my mind is wandering- i cant focus when i'm hungover. so i'll post more later.
30.08.03
*send some lovin*
its 1am, i'm home and drunk but not as big a mess as last week. tonight
was definately more dancing and less drinking. and it
was great. i didn't want the night to end, but alas, the girls were tired.
more photos will be up soon.....
but the reason i'm posting at this hour is to say oh my god i
want to throw up. watching late night video hits, i just saw
the worst cover in the whole wide world, and i would like to kill whoever
gave this shithouse band permission to butcher a fucking awesome song.
what am i talking about?......
NAKED HEART'S craptastic redition of kylie's 1994 track, CONFIDE IN ME!!!!!!
omfg, have you heard this monstrosity of a song???? it is the most horrid
piece of SHIT i have ever heard. time
off put it nicely. (second review down). WHY oh why did anyone think
this would be a hit? argh i am so thoroughly disgusted. they are the wankiest
korn wannabes, trying to growl in a KYLIE cover???? no you morons, that
does not work at all. i hate the music industry when
it allows cunt bands to take a beautiful song and massacre it.
horrible, horrible, horrible!!!!
oh another note- i feel i need to write this down before i forget this
drastic motivation and enthusiasm i had tonight... i want to start a zine....
perhaps an e-zine, perhaps a zine (print based).... maybe e-zine that
becomes a print zine.... either way i've always had this lame-core dream
(that i've brushed off, but secretley pined for it to become true) to
be the editor of a magazine.... cosmo,
cleo, one of those tacky chick magazines, but hell! girls/young women
read that shit! hell, i read that shit! now of course, i'm not doing a
course that would lead me to this career... but hell, i dont care. who
says i need to do the right course? fuck it!
the thing is, i'm not a drawer, i'm not the most creative person, i'm
not the best writer, i'm not the best anything.... but i think i could
be an editor. i'm the socialite, i'm the organiser, i'm the publicist...
i dont know what i am, but i know what i'm not.... mmm i'm definately
headed for a post about a class i'm doing called professional studies.
its all about finding "you... who you are... where you are headed.."
but not yet.... i'll write about it in the next few days... when there's
only 48 hours til the assignment is due and i'm in need of some procrastination.
hehehe
but yea, i was trying to say, i want to get rach's
amazing ability to write 'opinions', heather's
drawing ability, and gather other people's skills... and organise it together
for a zine... perhaps start off bi-monthly and work towards weekly.......
of course i need to research into this, research into zines and how they
run etc etc... but i totally think it could be done... i mean, i know
some people would read it (e-zine) just between heather,
rachel and
i, we have a shitload of fans and people who enjoy our nonsense. reviews,
opinions, editorials, ask 'dr roberts' type of questions..... who knows
what else. but i so think it could be done. ooh i'm so motivated right
now.... but i know i should wait til i'm sober and recovered..... i just
hope this motivation will last.. and by writing it/posting about it, i'm
letting you all know and therefore i can't let this idea slip into oblivion,
like so many other ideas..... you know about it now, i have to live up
to my promises. show your interest to really keep my motivation flowing.
i'll be back online soon to talk more about it, and fingers crossed tomorrow
the idea will seem just as grand!!!!
less than 24 hours til tegan & sara concert. arghhhhh soooo excited. the girls were on triple j this afternoon. they were sooo cute and hilarious!
29.08.03
*send some lovin*
holy crap, august is almost over. only about 7 weeks til my 22nd birthday.
this year is zooming by too fast. but dont i say this every year? shiiiiite!
anyway i haven't done anything too exciting this week. worked monday and
tuesday night, and have the whole weekend off. i'm hoping to reinact last
friday's fun, with waaaay less drinking and much more dancing. and then
saturday... oh wonderful saturday. excited much, i am. let me explain.....
last night (geeez it was only last night? feels like much longer) i was
at home, relaxing, bludging, thinking i should do some uni work. but instead
i was in front of the tv and was watching "The Panel". great
show every week. the musical guests were two girls who looked heaps alike...
i missed their names, becoz the musical guests are right at the end of
the show, and i was heading back to the computer for shits and giggles.
except they starting singing this awesome song. their voices were amazing,
so i scooted back to the couch and sat there, mesmerized by these 2 gorgeous
girls on the screen. their names..... Tegan
& Sara.
i've never heard of them. of course, i'm a complete music dag- i have
my cd's and songs on my mp3 list, but i dont branch out much.
but these girls were soooo great, i spent the rest of the night downloading
dozens of their songs and pouring over any website about them. AND the
great news... they are playing this saturday at the indie temple. so today
i went to rocking horse- LOOKIE HERE!
this saturday, tegan
& sara,
and next saturday, gerling!
oh my, dont i just feel like the live music diva now! 2 bands over 2 weekends.
awww yea i can't wait! outfits, outfits? what to wear?!
so that's my news. i'm also partaking in this
thing asa asked me about ages ago. we're testers for this technology,
which allows mobile phone users to download a webcam image to their mobile
phones. anyway, i just have to turn on my webcam and upload to their server
for a couple of hours every day. and anyone with a "java enabled
series 40 & series 60 Nokia phone" can download my cam image
to their phones! wow! you can get hot livian action EVEN when you're not
at your computer!!! haha. now if only i had the obsessive fans that nay
has, this technology would take off in an instant!
if anyone does have the right phone for this service, contact me coz i
want to know what its like, butmy nokia is old skool.
23.08.03
*send some lovin*
last night was a blinder. i'm embarassed to say i was home by 11pm (i
think). we started at 5.30pm at the uni pub. we caught the last half hour
of happy hour. drinks are so damn cheap there. the flirtini's are great,
but i rediscovered my love for Mecury draught (cider- cheaper version
of strongbow)
it was retro night at the campus club or something coz the guy would only
put on 80's songs. which rocked! so we danced. no one else really did,
but it didnt matter. i remember heather falling over, and that was the
start of the drunkeness. i was really hot and took off my stocking top,
and my tights at one stage. its winter but you wouldn't know it with what
we were wearing. dancing keeps away the cold.
we stumbled into the city, but lost all the other uni gym staff members....
hehe we were calling out "gym people, oh gympeople!" but they
kept walking. so off to the basement we went! they always have good covers
bands there. by this stage i wasn't seeing very clearly, and i dont remember
the photos being taken nor do i remember rachel falling down, but she
says she did. i remember bumming cigarettes off these guys, and taking
to another group of guys who were enjoying watching us dance... or at
least rachel.
but then i was definately getting woozy, but rach, heather and jonno wanted
to go to omalleys. i stumbled there, had some water, but the wooziness
wouldn't go, so i decided to go home. i dont even remember stumbling thru
the mall, i just remember flopping into a cab and this big scary lesbian
cab driver took me home. i swear she was a bloke at first. but she kept
talking to me and i'm trying so hard to sound sober and cool. i bet she
could tell i was drunk and messy though. i got home and steve had heaps
of people over watching movies. i tried to have a cigarette but it made
me feel sick, so i laid down for a while, until the drunkness wore off....................
next thing you know its 4am and steve's in bed. i was defeated by the
alcohol. passed out before middnight! how sad is that!
20.08.03
*send some lovin*
OMG OMG OMG!!!!! watch out nay and chelle, your pics might not be used by hundreds of fakers for much longer.... tonight, through lots of intelligent net research (i checked my referrers) i discovered my first faker!!!!! at least i think it is.... that's not my yahoo name. but i'm still confused... i guess i dont use Yahoo instant messenger, so its the perfect breeding grounds for livian imposters. hahah this is great! i feel so special. i mean, it hasn't been updated in a while, so who knows if this person still uses the yahoo name. its a bit creepy because all the information is correct and not far from what i would write in a profile..... but wait! what's this? "Real Name: Livian (Rhi, Jan, whatever..)"????? what the fuck is that? JAN?!?! firstly, rhiannon is nothing like jan.... and what's even wierder... Jan is my mum's name!!!! OMFG I KNEW I WAS TURNING INTO MY MUM!!!!
i'm going to have a social life on friday nite! drinking at the uni pub with rach- yay! i think its time for a little dressing up and i wont forget to take the camera along. i've been buying silly things off ebay, and my blue legwarmers arrived today. definately wearing them on friday night!!! yay!!
18.08.03
*send some lovin*
first day off the couch/out of bed in a while. well, i'm managed to get online to check emails etc (how could i keep away?) but i'm finally feeling better today. i stayed in bed all friday and saturday, called in sick to work saturday night, vegetated on the couch. i totally lost my appetite (which for me is crazy- i can usually eat no matter how stressed i am etc). i think i had 2 slices of toast all saturday. i've gone through SOOOO many tissues-mmm gotta love 3ply with aloe vera. my stomach muscles are hurting so badly from all the coughing i've been doing. but today i finally feel like i'm getting better. got a shitload of uni work to catch up on, since i found it impossible to do anything productive with my watery eyes and pounding headache. eeeep! will write more later when i get on top of this work.
15.08.03
*send some lovin*
i have to be the most unhealthiest person. i'm bloody sick again. a really
nasty cough, my lungs are rattling with phlem, moving up to a blocked
nose. i was sick about 2 weeks ago..... i dont understand it, i eat healthy
and regulary, i've started exercising occasionally, i rarely drink...
i dont smoke that much, except when i'm at work.... but i just dont get
it!!! and i live with mr immunity himself- steve is the most unhealthiest
person i know, yet he never seems to be sick for long at all. his sleep
is most irregular, and he eats shit food and not often at all, he drinks
like a fish and smokes like a chimney. yet, i seem to be getting sick
for both of us.
i spent all day in bed and now i'm rugged up in my pj's, and planning
to lie on the couch for a night of tv- simpsons, neighbours, seinfield,
simpsons again- then there should be some crappy movie on, or maybe i'll
get steve to hire out something.
i've sent him on a chemist run to get my some echinacea liquid, i dont
know what else to take. anyone got any home remedies for getting better?
i might have some tomato soup and some vegemite toast later. i konw all
you non-australians will absolutely gasp with disgust when i say this
(especially if you've ever tried vegemite)- when i was younger and sick
(vomitting etc) the first thing i could eat to settle my stomach was vegemite
toast. somethng about the vegemite settled my stomach, maybe my body craved
vitamin b, *shrugs* but i still crave vegemite toast when i'm feeling
sick.
if you know any home remedies for getting better- post them in the comments
or email me. i'll try anything,
anything to stop me feeling this miserable. meh
12.08.03 ***ADDED MORE CAM
PICS TO RECENT PICS***
*send some lovin*
i dont usually talk about my sex life on here but this was absolutely hilarious. steve and i have slothed around all day. it was 5.30pm and i still hadn't showered.... steve went and showered, and then, wrapped only in a towel came out to the computer here and beckoned me to the room and threw me on the bed. steve was being picked up for rehearsal in about 30 minutes (or so he said). i wanted to have a shower first, so i jumped in and out as quick as possible. since it was sex in a rush, we grabbed mr lube and got all ready. we were JUST ABOUT to start................and BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! we had the goofiest looks on our face as we just stared in shock at each other. steve jumped off, answered the door and ran back into the room and we pissed ourselves laughing while throwing on clothes. hahah i was trying not to look flustered as i came out of the room..... and kept telling myself no one could tell i wasn't wearing underwear under my skirt. but now the boys have left and i'm stuck here all alone and frustrated now. damnit!
12.08.03 ***ADDED MORE CAM
PICS TO RECENT PICS***
*send some lovin*
please crown me queen procrastinator! *cheers* thank you thank you!
a quiet weekend- i was freee and wanted to go out, but had no friends to go out with. so instead of making the most of my time, i laze on the couch, drinking alone.
the night before- too much good tv. middnight hits, sudenly panicand feel sick. sleep is the best medicine right?
the day its due- 10:30am, wake up, sip a V, eyes are bleary. can i write cohensively and intelligently in 4 hours? probably, ONLY if i dont procrastinate. oh but my favourite camgirls have updated! nooooooo!
a big thankyou to everyone who wrote to me with ideas, some were awesome and right on track, others not so much. i will try to email you all back personally when this proposal is written up- i'll send it along to show you what i ended up with.
my motivation to finish this is, not the deadline (pffft stuff the deadline,
one day late = 5% meh who cares), but instead, a line dancing afternoon
at the uni gym. rach and i are dressing up in cowgirl gear, learning to
linedance, then going upstairs to drink at the campus club. i'm woring
tonite however (stupid fucking ekka
showday tomorrow- man, all the carnies will be out), so i can't get blind
drunk which i would like to do.
tomorrow, a crazy teacher from commdes
(my course) is holding a retro games party. come dressed in 70's/80's
clothes. i so want to go- do my hair up in a faux hawk, wear some leggings
and a big jumper, off the shoulder.... but axel's
birthday bbq is tomorrow, and i'm hoping to go to that instead. oh well.
06.08.03 ***ADDED MORE CAM
PICS TO RECENT PICS***
*send some lovin*
i have defined what it is i want to do more now..... oh god, if only
this assignment was to write a 5000 word essay, i'd be right! i've got
the research and the theory no worries... its HOW to implicate it that
has be stumped.....
ok, this is what i want to do:
anyway i want to do a subversive piece on camgirls, camgirl sites. through
my work i want to take the notions of 'what is a camgirl/what
makes a camgirl/ the structure of the camgirl identity"
and subvert that. a mockwebsite almost...
anyway my deliema is i KNOW the theory... i dont know
HOW i'm going to get all this theory and information
into a mock website..... how do i get across my meaning?
obviously "mock" means i'm going to making a fake camgirl site,
taking the camgirl stereotypes and SUBVERTING them SOMEHOW.
i love/hate that word... subvert... i just dont know HOW i'm goign to
do it...
humour is always a good way of mocking something, right? though i dont
think i want to make it too blatant, "hi i'm a dumb blond college
girl with a webcam. i'll take lots of cleavage shots and fan signs for
you, and if you buy me something off my wishlist i might send you a boobie
pic. LOL!!!!!!"
we all know its been done to death already.... however, i guess because
i am part of the community (and guessing you, my faithful reader, are
too) i tend to forget that most people (ie my fellow classmates and teachers)
don't know all of this... they probably haven't seen it done before.....
hmmmm?
thoughts please? muntedmess@hotmail.com (email or msn)
FROM YESTERDAY EVENING: just came back from a meeting
with my lecturer.... we talked about a variation of idea #4.... (and by
the way, thank you EVERYONE who has emailed me, i've got alot of good
ideas and opinions out of your emails).... when i'm there with her, the
ideas seem to flow and make sense... as soon as i get home i lose it all...
looking back at my scribbled notes it only makes a bit of sense....
- the alice in wonderland "thru the looking glass"
- the unreal trying to become the real (William Gibson "Idoru"-
virtual pop idol. )
- the structure of the camgirl identity- subvert/contradiction
- "here's my life, but not my face"- cam girl sharing her life
(friends, etc) but not her face... why? disfigured? or just because....
the irony of it- to share your entire life with the world.....except your
face. maybe she's in witness protection?? hehe
- maybe its wonderland in alice, rather than alice in wonderland???? creating
this unreal world-comes from yourself.
- form: would it be an archieved website, or a ongoing project (mock website)...???
- aims: to challenge/broaden peoples notions of...? of what? voyeurism?
identity? privacy? hmmmm?.... who's it for? rather than to "explain
the camgirl phenomenon & community to those unaware", stuff them!
make it a humorous pisstake/mockumentary/website for those IN the community
to understand and appreciate... others will merely think it is fact..
but WE will know the truth... we'll see the humour, commenting on the
situation.
- looks at the naivity of the other people.
ok, i typed up my notes but never got around to publishing it... work
was shit last nite. was so quiet i ended up cleaning out the cigar bar
fridge and restocking/throwing out shit that was WAAAAAY past its used
my date... there was something in a juice container, it had a thick layer
of green mould on top, and these hard, things that looked like almonds..
i had to flush the mystery liquid down the toilet, except the lumpy bits
woudn't flush. it was soooo gross. i had 2 pairs of gloves on and still
had to wash my hands a dozen times to stop feeling so grotty.
i slept til midday and have fucked around all afternoon... its not 6pm
and i'm starting to panic!!!!
i'm going to be on aim and msn all night, so if anyone feels like wishing
me goodluck or offering some thoughts on this idea please do.
aim-muntedmess, msn- muntedmess@hotmail.com
anyway, the idea has swung towards the mock website kinda thing.... trying
to make a commentary on the camgirl phenomenon.... but rather than trying
to explain it for those clueless, i want it to make sense to those part
of the community and appear real for anyone else.
i was worried about it not being "techie" enough (like it shoudl
be 3d or installation, not just a website), but my lecturer doesnt think
it has to be.... i had the wrong idea in my head to a degree....
anyway, i shoudl stop procrastinating and do something. i'mjust looking around for articles on camgirls, theories on voyeurism and the need to put yourself on display... just some research behind why we camgirls feel like putting our whole lives on the net? and is it infact our whole lives? no of course not.... my lecturer keeps reminding me that i know more about the situation (actually being a camgirl/part of the community) than most articles etc.... hehe a big chunk of the research into it has already been done. i've been working on this assignment for the past 3 years :D hahahah
05.08.03 ***ADDED MORE CAM
PICS TO RECENT PICS***
*send some lovin*
CALLING ALL ARTISTS AND ANYONE WITH A OUNCE OF CREATIVITY.......
stressing big time. i have an assignment due on thursday and
i can't concrete my idea.... this assignment is the "initial
proposal for the production of an independent digital media project"....
by the end of the semester we will have brought this project to prototype
or proof of concept phase..... the only guidelines for the project are
that it is an interactive piece..... previous years have been everything
from art installation (hand sensors controlling the movement of two projections,
and a glove that controlls sounds (by having keyboard controls in the
fingertips of the gloves)), to 3d animations and basic games..... this
is where i need your help. i have hit a creativity brick wall......
talking with a lecturer we started chatting about what interests me......
camgirls & webcams. most of the staff at uni that
know about my website are fascinated by the whole phenomenon and community.
I had a few staff followers during survivorcam 2, and one teacher wanted
to incorporate the idea of doing tasks on a webcam into her class... i
dont know if she ever got around to it tho.....
anyway, we started just chatting about that, and the technology involved...
streaming cams etc, and a few ideas were thrown around. i then spoke to
my tutor (who was responsible for one of the installations of previous
years) and she gave me some more ideas but more towards the arty-farty
installation ideas... dont get me wrong... i do like these pieces....
however my mind doesn't think like that. i wish i could
think "outside of the square" more.... take my thoughts and
ideas and express them in a crazy way, like throwing a big blob of red
paint against a wall.... "this is my representation of my feelings
towards "this important issue""......
but i dont think that way.... i really need to take more mind altering
drugs or something. hehe.
so now, i pretty much have 4 ideas (some rougher than others), of projects
i could undertake...
this is where i'm begging for some input/feedback/ideas.... i'm stuck
and i dont know who else to ask for help. i appreciate ANY thoughts you
have. muntedmess@hotmail.com
beginning notes- watcher vs the watched.... the one way mirror.... to turn the tables on voyeurism- the camgirl is watched but cannot see her watchers... the voyeuristic viewer loves to watch but only because he knows he is not being watched.... what if the watcher was to become the watched????
1/ Multiple cams all streaming... Not just one view but many views... self made BigBrother.
2/ Multiple cams on cube- viewing all degrees of this
one point... cams then projected/viewed on screen... can see all angles
at once...????
(those two were ideas from my tutor..... ideas for what the actual
project could be... but why? i need a theory behind this... what does
it represent/mean?)
3/ Abstract representation of the watcher/watched....
the viewer & the viewed. the one way mirror.... define it, but then
(somehow) tear it down, turn it around, give the audience both experiences
or only one at a time, allowing them to see both sides. remove the power
that comes from being the watcher....take that power away and make them
feel like the watched.
the panopticon.....
4/ (and then for something totally different) THE HOAX-
the fake camgirl, the imaginary person who's life is displayed. The mystery-
something has happened/is happening to this person who is not real- but
immersing the audience in the false reality... but WHY???
just to play a trick? to play on peoples voyeuristic urges and get them
involved in this false persons world???
camgirl vs CSI (my lecturer and i joked about this.... this idea came
to be after i told her about camgirls who have died/tried to committ suicide/been
in accidents etc..... i've watched as scandalous things have happened
to someone who's website i read.... perfekt and her car accident....there
was some girl (woman) with a website/blog etc... she used to dress up
in costumes all the time. she went away to some gamers convention (i think?)
and was attacked/mugged in her hotel room... anyone remember who that
was? that was back in 2000 i think..... also if you can remember any other
incidents like this, let me know)
so those are the ideas.... pretty vague and spread out, i know.... that's
why i panicking. PLEASE! if you have any thoughts/ideas/opinions,
ANYTHING, i want to hear from you!!!!
write to me !!!
just a quick, non pleading part of the blog...... the weekend home was nice, but as always it was too short. i would have loved to stay there longer. mum cut my hair... short but not as short as i originally thought... i'm still working out how to style it and everything... i just woke up and its looking shocking at the moment... hehehe.