EDIT: 20 mins later: how good is a hot shower! steamy, burning hot, that makes you gasp and stings your skin. i look sunburnt, but god it makes me feel so much better. i keep turning the hot tap on more and more, every time i get used to the heat, i turn it up hotter again. now i think i'm ready for bed. night!

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i have a sharp stabbing pain in my stomach. not my lower gut/intestines/uterus whatever.... no, this is in my stomach, or where i think my stomach actually is. it feels so high. like almost under my ribs. i dont know if its emotionally related (very possible), bad food (had left over burritos- but only one day old, so probably not), wine withdrawals (this is my first night sober in what feels like a billion years, so very likely), lack of exercise (skipped gym tonight and haven't been since last thursday), or i could still be suffering from sunday night, aka the craziest, drunken night in my whole life.

i'm wanting a cigarette even though i know it will make me feel worse. but you know when you're stressed, sad, depressed, angry, a cigarette just goes down so well (even better when it makes you feel worse/sick). its like its just what i need- physical bad feelings to go hand in hand with the emotional ones.

i think i might have one then curl up into a ball and sleep and dream. always makes me feel better. i could never suffer from insomnia. thank goodness.