UPDATE: the place is finally getting clean. woot. new years is tomorrow night. woot x2. my back is slightly starting to peel. that is NOT woot worthy. my little black dress is halter, with an open back.... *cry*

i just got a phone call from some journalist wanting to do another article about camgirls/voyeurism. this time for Cleo magazine. she said i could remain nameless if i wanted, but come on, who would want that! hahahaha. this wont be just about camgirls however, its more about the voyeurism side of things, why we are all so fascinated by reality tv shows and such... why everyone seems to enjoy having a peek into someone elses life.

ahhhh a little muscle in my thigh is twitching and i can't stop it. baaaah it is the wierdest feeling.

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an attempt at blogging about christmas..... mmm i have some photos of the trip, so i will have to go fetch my camera for this...yea soon.....

i flew home yesterday, after 5 days of no net. part of me was going insane, yet while at mum's i had been distracted with everything and that made the time just fly by. i felt so out of touch with everyone... ie- work people, close friends etc. i was so used to speaking to them all at least once a day via msn, so 5 days with no contact, and of course i'm a tight ass and refused to sms EVERYONE i was missing, so yea. rhiannon was stranded at the beach for 5 days... sun, sunburn..... sand, sand in my crotch.... oh yeah gotta love the beach.

anyway, i came back a bit of a changed woman i think... (bwahahah i called myself 'woman'. tehehe, i mean 'girl').. i got home feeling stronger, happier... more confident... i am sick of feeling sorry for myself, i'm sick of feeling like crap. hell, if i think people are taking advantage of me, i'm going to let them know and its going to stop... NOW. rachel and i headed to southbank mid afternoon and saw the Incredibles. it was sooooo good. i had very high hopes for it and it met all my expectations.

afterwards i headed to coles to do some grocery shopping and this is where i had my mini epiphany... walking around in those isles, buying food for me and me alone (ok, so i was buying food with glenn and i in mind but WHATEVER, it was still for me rather than someone else).

i wheeled the shopping trolley, i chose the products I wanted, i was scooting around the isles, humming to myself (who the crap hums to themselves? bah! our reglion teacher in high school used to hum to herself, but she was insane).. anyway my point is, it just felt so right, to do all the things i want to do; not having to think about someone elses feelings or tastes; doing everything JUST FOR ME. and it didn't feel so bad doing it all alone. a part of me is really looking forward to being alone, independant, and all that jazz. thinking of no one but ME! oh yea, here comes the summer of rhiannon!

i've got a 'independant woman' playlist happening.... full of natasha beddingfield, britney, christina, destiny's child... oh yea. god i can barely see my eyes are so blurry. i only just woke out and kinda tumbled out here and got on the computer. in my 'just waking up' moment of haze i thought it would be a good idea to redesign my site! hell yes! i got as far as opening photoshop and flash and then i kinda gave up as i woke up more. bah, i know i should but god i just dont even know where to start....

i really should have taken off makeup and showered last night. my eyes are very puffy, and makeup is kinda smeared half down my face. oh yes, i'm a charmer. i was sooooo drunk last night. i bought a bottle of wine and polished that off while on the couch watching tv... and it seemed like a good idea to good out. i mean, its wednesday night and i DONT HAVE TO WORK IN THE MORNING! wheeeeeeeee! i have to make the most of this short holiday. it was close to middnight (i think) and i was heading off for beers with dan.

oooh and i just remember we stayed there til Mustang Bar kicked us out (because they were closing, not because we were disorderly). i then tried to have conversations with people on msn when i got home but i could barely see. that's why there was no shower action or makeup removing. blah, drunken behaviour. i really do sound like an alcoholic on here dont i? everything is 'i got drunk here, i did silly things coz i was drunk'... mmmm my sister thinks i'm an alcoholic too. i just think everyday is a reason to celebrate with booze... or something? BAH.

i need eggs. i know have a choice of breakfast foods with my newly stocked fridge. oooh god, i could so eat thai or something. does anyone do that? eat food that is more of a lunch or dinner food for breakfast? i mean, i love my cereal or eggs on toast (typical breakfast foods) but in thailand i used to eat rice and curries/stirfries for breakfast all the time at my first host family's house. thanks to my parents, i have a huge appetite first thing in the morning, which is a good thing or so they say. whats the saying, 'eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner
like a pauper'. such a mum thing to say. i am so turning into my mum, but that's not a bad thing(except for the saying stupid things and repeating stories hahahah). ok i really need food now.....

seriously, what the fuck is up with the world? everything is fucking crazy. today has been a bizarre one. i'm stressed, i'm confused, i'm frustrated... and perhaps a dash of horny in there for good measure.... its just one big mish mash of rhiannon emotions smooshed up into a big ball that makes me want to cry/laugh/scream/sleep....

so ok, where to start? well dates for people moving in and moving out are up in the air, i dont know if i'm going to lose the great couple because i'm not sure if they can wait indefinately (well january 20th absolute latest) for the boys to find a place.so that stressing me out to no end. what if they say 'sorry, can't wait that long, we're already overstaying in our old place a good week and half'... and then i'm up shit creek, and need to find more flatmates... will they be as good as these ones? fuck probably not. BAH that makes me want to cry.

then nony messages me today saying there is a padlock on our mailbox..... WTF? none of us put it on, so who could have? automatically i assume it was the landlord... omg does he hate us? are we bad tenants? if so, maybe he wont let me extend the lease and stay here.. .oh shitmy whole life would be in ruins.... maybe another tenant doesn't like us. maybe a shithead person who hangs out down at the corner of our street (ie prostitute, drunk or homeless person) put it on as a jke? ok that last one doesn't make sense but fuck, none of us put the lock on there so what could it mean? who woudl have done it?

and then nony and i meet up after work and continue shopping for mum's xmas present. she is seriously the worst person to buy for... dad always buys her perfume so that's out. she has her own makeup that she likes and buys so that wont work. she has her bag and purse and i bought her a leather briefcase a few years back that she still loves and always says is the best present she ever got. clothes/shoes? nope she's hard to buy for coz it has to cover her chest area, her tummy, can't be too tight across her boobs, has to have little sleeves to cover the tops of her arms which she doesn't like. plus she really has ALOT of clothes. home ware stuff? we she sold practically ALL the furniture and homeware stuff from our house when she moved out and moved into her new apartment. and she bought all new furniture and has bought all new accessories and random stuff... and it all matches the colours and style that was decided on by the decorator she hired to organise everything and pick out everything. god mum is so funny. she is by no means rich. but she works really fucking hard and finally its time to treat herself which i'm so happy about that. she fucking deserves it. she has spent too many years devoting everything to us and never doing anything for herself.

ok anyway, i am rambling but the point is, briony and i walked around for ages throwing ideas around, doesn't matter how crazy they were, but there was NOTHING we could get her that would be decent.

so... fast foward... i nearly start crying on the bus ride home. everything is just falling apart and is so fucking confusing. why is life confusing? fuck i have this whole other thing that recently happened that is confusing the shit out of me that i haven't told anyone about. ok one person. but i can't talk about it. to anyone. but its just confusing and everyday i am just thinking 'wtf? this is wrong, stop thinking about it,argh!'i get home, after buying a bottle of wine on the way home (i fucking deserve it plus i'm not working tomorrow. thursday is the new friday, didn't you hear? heheheh) i rang the owner of our place. he knows nothing about the padlock (phew)... but still what could it mean? he is fine for me to renew the lease, he likes me ,sad to hear me and steve didn't last, but is fine for me to stay (YAY).

so nony and i decide to go upstairs to units 6 & 7 coz they have padlocsk on their letterboxes and we hadn't really noticed them before. up we go, knock on their doors but there is no answer. however the door to unit 5 is open so we knocked on their door. no answer. went back downstairs, talked some more then thought we'd go back up again and knock again. finally we woke someone up in unit 5. doors were wide open but he was asleep in there. we asked him about the padlock and he didn't know anything about ours but said that his letter box should have a padlock on it... howver we knew it didn't. so he came downstairs and yes it was his padlock on our letter box. since #5 is below ours, i guess his flatmate was .... um drunk or something, and he put the padlock on the wrong letter box. how fucked is that? HAHAHA but phew thank god that mystery is solved.

then i got chatting to rach who got a haircut with my mum today, and mum had told her a bunch of things that should would lvoe to get as a present so now we have ideas galore. thank god.
ahhhh this post has taken me hours to write (as i've been chatting to heaps of people) and now i'm drunk (yay thanks wine), so anyway i just want to say, a big HAPPY XMAS to everyone. i wont be online til the 29th when i get back. hope everyone has a great holiday!!!!

argh i am at wars with my body it would seem. after friday nights drunken stumble home, a killer blister has popped up on my little toe. and of course that means every shoe i wear rubs on it. baaaah and i want to go to step tonight. then last nite i slammed my thumb in the side gate, and its split the nail on my right hand. painful as all fuck, bled like a bitch, and now when i type i use that outside of my thumb onthe space bar, so ever fucking space hurts my thumb :'(

internally i'm feeling rather ordinary after drinking a whole bottle of wine last nite. bah it felt so good at the time. other things are acting stupidly as well. so yea, pain and wierd bodily behaviours makes rhiannon feel like shit. not to mention the situation at home, which is still craptastic.

on a good note tho i had a couple over last nite and they want to move in downstairs, and i want them too as well. yay. so that makes me feel better, knowing i have some people (nice people too) lined up for downstairs. so everything is finally happening, and i am looking forward to the time when i can finally get over him. moving on, welcome to the next part of your life.

in typical friday night style i boozed up big again. and my body is paying the price today. but it was fun and worth it and i'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

rather than just drinking at work, we relocated to mike's house for jelly shots, beer in pineapples and much fun-ness. it seemed like a good idea to play fight with boys much bigger than me, and now i have a few mystery sore spots on my arms and shoulders. i will definately make people feel guilty if i bruise. i wonder if i left a bite mark? heh... my teeth are my only defense when someone threatens to throw me over the fence.

after much booze, i started drifting in and out of consciousness while a bunch of people played UNO. but it was crazy, wierd UNO. it was a little card holding machine, and rather than picking up a card you just press a button... it may spit out one card, it may spit out none, or it may spit about 5 cards! hehehe it was fun, but my head was very heavy. so i wandered upstairs and ended up on a bed, just to rest my eyes.

next thing i know, i wake up, its dark, and hang on, i'm in a different bed. i get up to go to the bathroom and i see one of the twins in the other room. however its dark and they're kinda laying on their front so i have no idea if its mitch or mike. and i have no idea who's room i'm in. but i was there alone, so that means someone is having to sleep on a floor/couch etc. god, i'm that annoying drunk person who never goes home, stays well past their welcome, or passes out instead. i freaked out, and decided i'd walk home. it was only a suburb or two away, so that's all good. hell i probably need to sober up anyway, as i still felt drunk. i snuck downstairs in the dark and i think i could make out someone on the couch. possibly female, possibly with dark hair but who can really tell in this non-existant light.

the fresh air woke me up a bit and the cigarette made me feel really fucking skanky. walking home with slight bedhair at 3.30am. after about 10 mins i realize i think i'm headed in the wrong direction, shit, so i flip around and start back. a few taxi's passed me but i thought 'why pay $10 when i could walk home in 25mins easily?'.... of course, my super comfy shoes start rubbing my foot funny and after 15 mins of walking in a direction that wasn't 100% the way i wanted to be going, i could feel i was going to get a big fat blister on my toe.

i avoided eye contact with anyone i passed, feeling like i was doing the walk of shame home even tho it wasn't daylight. i slowed to a hobble. i finally got home as the sun was started to rise... about 4.30am. i tried to piece together the last few hours of the night, and had a frozen dinner. god, when will i learn that i HAVE to eat before drinking copious amounts of wine.... mmmm and those jelly shots. they were potent but soo darn good.

i passed out about 5 i think. woken up at 8.30am by a potential flatmate calling about the rooms. oh yea, i'm sure i impressed her by answering the phone with a grunt, and my voice cracked as i tried to speak coherently. briony and i went into the city and did some xmas shopping.. well actually we were just going in to get me some accessories for new years eve but ran into rach and chris who were madly shopping for their hu-mungo family and we kinda felt guilty for saying we weren't getting anything for anyone. so after much guilt we decided to get the parentals something. but of course, they are the 2 hardest people to buy for in the world. mum has just moved into a new place and has bought all new furniture and stuff, everything matches. i haven't seen it yet so i dont know what she has, what she needs, what her theme is.anyway we ended up getting dad this awesome desk set (sterling silver penholder/pen/card holder/clock) and some nice photoframes. i know he has to do so much paperwork now he's a cop, and is always at the office. so yea. we're going to take nice photos of us (and totally photoshop ourselves), print them out and put them in the frames. heheheh

mum however, we're still a bit clueless what to get her. she knows socialises with her 'girls' all the time. they have girls weekends and 2 of her friends live near her new place down at the beach, so she is always entertaining etc. we were going to get her a little gift basket of things for the girls weekends- drinking games, and what not. but then we found this awesome leather box she had pointed out to briony before... so we came home with a leather box, a pack of cards with drinking games on them and a little cocktail shaker full of fun game essentials. dice, and other gamey things.i ended up buying myself a nice kettle coz the old one was... well, old. and crappy. and there was 10% off kettles at myers. mmm then i got some new years eve outfit accessories. and a fucking mad gift for rach, but i can't tell you what it is yet.. dont want to spoil it for her. but god when i saw it i pissed myself laughing at how perfect it was for her.

mmm so all in all, a good shopping day. altho i'm at least $250 poorer which is a bit of a worry because i'm not sure if i'll have to cover a week or two of rent after the boys leave and before i get new flatmates in. part of me wants to have at least a few days between so i can get in and do a real good clean up of the place.

ergh i must return to the couch now.... it feels like my insides try to become my outsides. damn you liver, stay there and filter my blood goddamnit. are you going to let a few bottles of wine beat you? NEVER!

woot, i am so excited over the little things. our new work polo shirts came today, and for some reason that has made me so happy.

dont get me wrong, i like dressing up for work but i also miss the simplicity of having a uniform. i think i must be the only person in the world who loved my high school uniform- the school i went to for grades 11 and 12 was a private school and we had the daggiest uniform but i seriously loved it. the skirt was mid-calf, the hat was so preppy but cool.

but yea, not only is having work polo shirts cool, but one of them is PINK! (see moBlog pic above) and my goodness, this makes me happy.

life has been pretty shitty (cept the xmas party last friday)... just the usual breakup stuff: a good healthy dose of utter despair, regret, depression and heart-wrenching loneliness. i know it doesn't make sense as there are people around me all the time- lots of people offering to 'be there' for me, and lots more people i could easily be around... but well.... i dont know. i don't feel connected to alot of people from my past anymore. they represent a life that is no more. and my coping mechanism is to have nothing to do with anything or anyone that reminds me of this heartache.

sadly, brisbane is way too small a place to never see them again. and of course everyone is inter-linked and connected someway or another. i guess i just grin and bear it and keep thinking of that elusive 'light at the end of the tunnel'... ie the day when it doesn't hurt as much anymore. the day my stomach doesn't flip flop all over the place. the day when i dont shed a tear over my now ruined relationship with my first ever love.

gah, looks like that day is definately not today.

before this gets too emo and livejournalish, i think i'll change the topic..... uh...
bunnies.. fluffy bunnies. cute little bunnies who think everyone else has had more sex than them. teeheehee.

the work christmas party last friday was mad fun. the bowling place, Strike Bowling, was awesome and lots of fun. i haven't bowled in so long and i was fucking shocking of course. but that's ok. a bunch of us got over there on time and were getting things organised. a few more stragglers showed up... only to tell us that 13 people had crammed into an elevator with a 14 person maximum, and the elevator had broken down between the 6th and 7th floor. i hear from a little birdie that it was because someone thought it would be a good idea to jump while the elevator was moving. plus when everyone added up their weight it was WELL over the capacity.
like the little stress bunny that i am, i freaked out at the news that they would be stuck in there for 2 hours. then a couple of us took a photo drinking a tasty beer and sent it to those stuck in the elevator and i laughed my ass off. luckily, they were out of there in 30 mins so the party could continue with everyone present.

more alcohol, some tasty food, a couple of games of ten pin.... i had a blast. we then had the pool tables and arcade games room booked out and i sucked some more at a car racing game. supossedly i grossed out a couple of people with some stories, i know there was lots of cussing going on. it was agreed that bollocks was the best cuss word (mostly just when said by andrew who has a british accent), followed by the C-word. i know lots of people dont like it and when i'm not drunk i'm less inclined to yell it at the top of my lungs.... but i was drunk that afternoon, uh.. so yea.

after some bad karaoke (and it wasn't just me being a bad singer, the machine was fucked), we headed over to the casino where there was more bar tab. an evil long island iced tea and too many of those alcoholic slushy cocktails resulted in a very drunken rhiannon. i remember badly gambling (not my chips), more loud cussing, having bourbon spilt on my white shirt (oh i had spilt red wine on it during karaoke) so i was in the toilets washing my shirt in the bathroom sink. no hand dryer. shame there wasn't a wet tshirt comp, coz i would have won. hehehe

i was home before midnight and not feeling too shabby the next day. on monday we all slowly put all the pieces together from the evening and luckily nothing horribly embarassing happened. so overall i would say it was a tops christmas party. i think i was suffering from post-xmas party depression on saturday and sunday, and i'm definately up for another booze fest with work people *hint hint everyone*

check out billy's xmas party photo album and aaron's xmas party photo album for photos til i get around to putting up mine.

bits and pieces from a much larger livejournal post (aka censored for the public blog)

am having a good day so far, and the excitement of the work xmas party tomorrow is almost too much. god i get this way every thursday. "OMG OMG OMG, tomorrow is friday! which means fun and drinking and socialising and friday has so much potential, what could happen? oooh",...... anyway these good feelings are a welcome change from last nite, when everything felt like it was just getting too much. dad is here for a couple of days and within an hour of us getting home after gym, nony and dad were arguing about bank loans and car purchases and nony moving home to bundy or down to sydney... and then i told dad about my cousin maybe moving in with me, and going over all the things that are still standing in the way, and things that could go wrong with the whole "everyone move out, get new flatmates in"... and then talking about money, everyone's lack of money, stresses about money.

what happened to my life? when did everything get so complicated? i miss my less complicated life......

and nony leaving - well that's just a bundle of complicated emotions there. i will miss her heaps but with her being my sister, i just can't help but get so intricately tangled up in her life issues; money issues; job issues; what to study issues; where to move issues..... and, of course, mum and dad are so caught up in her life and are trying so hard to help her in any way they can, but of course, being parents they are constantly saying the wrong thing (ahh parental advice).... then they come to me to vent their frustrations, and she vents her frustrations to me and i just feel like i'm stuck in the middle.

everyone tells me not to care so much, not to stress about it- everyone can look after themselves, right? - but i just can't. i worry about dad, buying a house with his girlfriend who has 2 teenagers... is his trusty and generous nature being taken advantage of? Gale (his girlfriend) has been married twice already.... i haven't met her yet, but what is she like? is she nice? does she deserve my dad? is she just one of those evil women who use and abuse nice guys? then again, maybe she's nice and everything's good... then i'm glad for my dad. i hope he's happy coz he so deserves to be happy and not lonely anymore.

steve used to get so frustrated with me and say 'stop stressing over the little things, you're just working yourself up' and of course i would be all worked up and having him say that would only make me more stressed and i'd start crying or yell at someone. but i mean, its not like i WANT to stress about the little things.... i'm not doing it deliberately, and its not something i can just stop doing.... and of course, having someone get exasperated at me doesn't help one little bit.
bah, i dont know where all of that came from. ok its out now, and i feel better.

i had my first ripe, juicy mango for the summer this morning. it was sooooo delicious. it now feels like summer and christmast time now that i've had a mango and had the flesh get stuck in my teeth and the juice running down my chin. mmmm i can't wait to go home for christmast. the plan is to have a yummy lunch at mum's friends house- lots of seafood i'm sure. both of my aunties and uncles and their kids will be up too. so i think christmas will be fun this year, actually getting into the day for the sake of the young ones.

what an alcohol filled weekend. and vodka too, not just my usual red wine. the slight vodka hangover, and feeling in my gut the next day is definately different to red wine hangovers. and i'm definatley leaning towards worse. i should give myself another 6 day detox.

rach and i went to our gym's xmas party on friday nite.... $2 spirits! *runs around in circles,squealing with arms flailing* wheeeeee! i love cheap drinks so much. Mini Vin wasn't there (this spunky beefy guy who looks like a mini vin diesel- only much better in my opinion. i dont think vin diesel is hot at all). but there were a few other cute guys who we talked to/came and talked to us. and a guy with rad tats, and he had an accent! i got tired pretty quickly after a really late night thursday nite (i blame steve and too much wine), and i made rach leave even tho she wanted to stay and flirt more with pink shirt boy. i'm sure she thanked me in the morning when she had to work at 6am (riiiiight?)

saturday was pretty crap, i felt a bit shite, and wanted to clean the place before this girl, claire came over to see the place and meet me (potential new flatmate). i spent the whole day tidying and cleaning while steve and nony watched me. finally the place looked kinda acceptible and i could relax.. kinda. i felt really nervous meeting her, what would she be like? would she like me? would she like the place? i was nervous that she wouldn't like the apartment, and would feel like it was a bad reflection on me. wtf? i mean its not like i own the place- i'm not responsible for the daggy carpet in the upstairs bedrooms, or for the fact that the second bedroom is alot smaller than the main bedroom. i dont understand WHY they build apartments/units like that. why must one room always be so much bigger than the other? my bedroom is bigger and has the ensuite, while the other bedroom will just hold a queensize bed and a small bedside table.... i dont get it, it would make way more sense to make the rooms equal size. considering who mostly lives in inner-city apartments - young, professionals, usually doing a sharehouse thing. fair enough if i was sharing with a midget... but come on, how likely is that?

anyway, she comes over and i show her around the place. yes the bedroom size is a little crappy, but she has a car and would be getting the secure car spot so i guess its not too bad a deal, considering how cheap the rent is for where we are.

its a little awkwards coz steve and nony are sitting around.... 'hi here is the girl who might be moving in when you are both gone'.... so we head over to the pub after the quick tour. we had a drink and sat and talked for about 45 mins or so. she was really lovely, and i said to her that if she wanted the room she could have it.

oh god, i'm SOOO not telling any of my new flatmates about my site, so i can talk about them and not worry about them reading it. wheeeee! anyway she was going to check about public transport to her work (she's only been in brisbane for 8 months- originally from new zealand, she's been over in the states for the past 4 years or so). i really hope i hear back from her....
our work's xmas party is this friday and i'm sooooo looking forward to it. i totally want to wear something stupid to the party, half dress up. just coz i can and its fun and any excuse is a good excuse to dress up :Pam thinking of pulling out the bright coloured knee high socks (since its at Strike Bowling, i thought.... hmmm what will go well with bowling shoes?!)

got an email from Axel (team-plastique) the other day, and i realized how much i miss him and his girls, and going out with them, getting dressed up in crazy clothes and not giving a fuck. their gigs were always an excuse to get dressed up. i miss the costume box rach and i used to have. that was so much fun. but nooo i can't keep hoarding clothes just in case i get the urge to dress up. hopefully heather and i will go to the markets again this sunday, and we can sell a bunch of our stuff. i definately would appreciate the extra cash in time for xmas. i haven't bought anything for anyone yet. i ran around today at lunch looking for my secret santa gift, and i think i found something good for him/her, tho its going to end up way more than the $20 that was suggested.

mmm mondays are depressing.... bring on tuesday.

i usually catch the 195 bus at 8.29am. tho in typical public transport fashion, the buses can be anywhere from 5-10minutes late, and on those really freaky days could actually be a few minutes early.

today i got ready for work earlier than usual (probably the excitement of it being Tort Thursday. mmmmmmm) so i ended up at the bus stop about 8.23am. there was supposed to be a 191 bus at 8.25am. but of course it was not on time.

in peak hour traffic there are two kinds of buses... ones that go thru the Ivory Street tunnel, skipping the Valley and getting to the city super duper quickly, and then there are the ones that still go thru the valley and have to compete with all the city bound traffic from the north. the 191 is one of the valley buses and i would prefer NOT to catch one of those.

i look at my watch as the 191 pulls up. its definately close to 8.29am. i stick my head out and try to see up the road if the 195 is on its way. like i said, altho its SUPPOSED to be at my stop at 8.29am it often isn't.

so my diliema... do i get on this 191? or do i wait and risk being late for torts because the 195 is late? oh what the heck, i take a risk and jump on the bus.

oh great, some chick is fishing around in her purse trying to find change. i have found a seat and we still haven't moved. i turn around and look out the back window just as the 195 comes into sight and yes, it passes us. FUCK! it didn't stop at my stop because we had all gotten on the 191.
we take off.... i'm silently cursing the world and the public transport system. oooh my day looks up as i spy a guy a few seats ahead of me. he looks cute, nice funky clothes. of course i am only seeing the back of his head, and just enough of his jaw and cheek to think he might be cute. so now i'm silently trying to will him into turning his head enough so i can get a good perv.

2 stops up, we are about 100 metres behind the 195 bus. the bus i was SUPPOSED to be on. i'm still staring intently at this potentially cute guy's head. we pull up quite suddenly and everyone lurches forward. stupid bus drivers. i dont think anything of it.

the 195 in front of us is stopped, and as we slowly move forward, i look out the window to see a car that had been coming out of a car park driveway, and its surrounded by people all studying the front of the car. hey! there is my regular 195 bus driver OUT of his bus. i dont know what happened, but the front of that car is a bit smooshy, its not spose to look like that is it?

everyone is staring out the window and much to my disapointment that guy wasn't cute at all. what a rip off. nice clothing and he looked potentially so good from behind. what a let down. so it looks like the car was coming out of the driveway, stuck its nose out too far, and the bus swiped it.

SHIT! if i had waited and hailed the 195 when it was at my stop, it would have pulled up, and I would have said hi to my driver and gotten on. maybe 5-10 seconds. then he has to take off again. that would have slowed him down another 5 seconds. but because i got on the other stupid bus, the 195 didn't stop at my stop and then it swiped a car only about 300 metres down the road.

i felt really bad coz the 195 driver is really nice. how many times has the bus already pulled away from the stop and is sitting at a red light just as i'm sprinting across the road. he ALWAYS lets me on. other bus drivers are such cunts and wont let you on even the second after they have pulled away from the curb.

other shit: i signed up to a roommates website and have been getting a tonne of responses from various people. i swear its like a dating website. people have photos of themselves and nony and i have been laughing at some of these people. some people put up the worst photos, or write the lamest descriptions about themselves. and there are heaps of foreigners looking for places. and you know what that means? HOT FOREIGN BOYS!

hehehe. but seriously, there have been some decent sounding people so far. there is one german girl who is absolutely gorgeous in her photo. and she sounds really lovely on email. but i want her to move in so we can become friends and then i'll have this gorgeous friend i can parade around with. she can be my key to all the hot places and even hotter boys. i think my logic is flawed tho. somehow it makes sense in my mind- surround yourself with the pretty people and like the bellcurve, it will somehow bring your prettiness up! tho everyone thinks i'm insane and i have it all backwards... ugly friends make you look better. hmmmm not sure. teeheehee

anyway i am excited, and really hope i can find some great girls to live with. plus more female companionship, girly times etc. i've liked having nony around, having a female always close by.